Make Your Hearts at Home

All Grown Up

2012-01-12T08:57:00.000-08:00

God reminders and blank, white icons

2012-01-11T08:41:00.000-08:00

"For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst."

Matthew 18:20

Today, I asked God for a reminder. God placed a desire in my heart as a child, a dream I dare not speak out loud (even if I have in partial whispers). But, to tell the whole dream in its' entirety might be lunacy to some. I have often asked God over the years to re-affirm this desire or take it away ~~as free brain space is limited when you are raising 5-year-old triplets :).~~

Today, I decided it was time to give up the dream. After all, I am possibly up for another surgery and have felt bad for at least two months now. I stare at a stack of paperwork that my new doctor will review over the next two weeks to determine if surgery is necessary.

Today, I gave up-- for my dream was impossible.

A few minutes later, my phone chimed and a text flew in from a friend. I noticed something strange on my home screen.

A blank, white icon.

Now, I don't know about you, but I've never seen nor had a blank, white icon on my iPhone. I wouldn't know how to put one on there if I tried. I have no idea how it got there, but I pressed it.

There staring me in the face was a blog written by another mom. The blank, white icon was her blog, which had somehow attached itself to my home screen. The dream I had just let go of was exactly what the blog was about. Over the years as I prayed over this dream of mine, God gave me Luke 1:37 as my scripture to stand on.

Stand.

"Stand" is the word I chose for 2012 as my "one word." I only told a handful of people and didn't do any of the "one word" blog hops that happen every January. Yet, I still chose one.

As my eyes swam with tears, I saw it perched in the top right corner.

There sat my verse.

"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

{Thank you Lord, that even when I throw in the towel on my dreams, You hold them tight. For nothing is impossible with You. Thanks for the blank, white icon and heaven-sent reminders that You hear my every prayer, thought, and dream}.

Our Daily Bread

2012-01-04T20:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my doctor told me that my Endometriosis was never going away, that I would always have the disease no matter what I did to stop it.

Yesterday, my friend was told that one of her newborn triplets had a 10% chance of survival.

Yesterday, my grandfather was taken back to ICU with Congestive Heart Failure.

Sometimes, in light of yesterday, we have to depend on God for our daily bread.

Today, I had a good day--my daily bread.

Oh, how we forget that those very words are how we are commanded to pray; commanded to live...in the present.

Fully, wholly dependent on our Heavenly Father.

"Give us today our daily bread." Matthew 6:11

Bible-based Financial Help in 2012

2012-01-03T13:46:00.000-08:00

2012 is shaping up to be a very important year for our country. It only takes a few minutes of scanning national news reports or watching our political leaders to know that we live in very shaky times. And sometimes literally- the ground has been shaking in catastrophic ways.

I will be the first to admit, just as our personal financial situation began to look up, it began to spiral downward. I just got a lot of my 2011 medical bills paid off and it appears that I am up for another surgery or two.

The month of December is always hard because of Christmas and this year was no different. It's crazy how out of control my spending got, even when I was mindfully, willfully trying to cut back. I consciously thought about how to cut costs at every corner and still, the pain of the December statement. Ouch.

To top it off, Robb's truck needed a new set of tires and our washer and dryer quit working all within the same week. Financially, it was a rough December.

Yet, I still believe in the one, true God of Provision.

I can look back at five years of living with triplets and see the hand of God. There is no "earthly" way that my family could provide for ourselves. But, God has provided for us- through the generosity of others, hard work, and His supernatural provision.

He has provided.

Yet, I began 2012 panic-stricken about our finances, about future surgeries, and my declining health (that doctors are still trying to figure out). Today, I had to lay it down. Bury the fear six feet under. It's easy to sit on the floor and cry "Why, me?" And it's also human to ask those tough questions.

But, I still believe.

I don't know where you are financially, but I know one thing I will continue to do in 2012: honor God with our finances by tithing.

Yes, I said it, tithing.

Malachi 3:10 says "Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,"says the Lord of Heaven's Armies, "I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!" NLT

God actually entreats his children to test Him in this area- to trust Him. I love this promise from God. I always want to know the why and the reasons behind things in life. I can look at our finances, at the gifts we have been given, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that those gifts were set into motion by a loving Heavenly Father who took my prayer to heart. I might not ever be considered rich by the world's standard's, but I know that my provision starts with a relationship with Jesus, by trusting God with provision, by honoring Him with our finances, and then standing on God's word.

In 2012, I am diving deeper into God's word. I am going to "stand"- not only for our financial security, but for my health, my family, friends, and our country.

Proverbs 3:9 says "Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce." NLT

Not For Sale: demoralizing the builders

2011-12-21T23:22:00.000-08:00

Here is the church.

Here is the steeple.

Open the doors.

See all the people.

Today, a spirit of confusion is rampant in our country, our schools, and our families. I believe that the American church is experiencing systematic demoralization and attack. The children of God are being demoralized by Satan himself.

verb (used with object), -ized, -iz·ing.

to deprive (a person or persons) of spirit, courage,discipline, etc.; destroy the morale of: The continuous barragedemoralized the infantry.

to throw (a person) into disorder or confusion; bewilder: Wewere so demoralized by that one wrong turn that we were lost forhours.

to corrupt or undermine the morals of.

Here is the church.

Here is the steeple.

Open the doors.

See, the demoralized people.

Today, my heart is broken for the confusion that our society has fallen prey to. We must choose to be the Daniel's of our time-unwilling to compromise in the face of political correctness or oppression. Time pivots and the hand of God is soon to swoop down and deliver His children from this Earth.

Here is the church.

Here is the steeple.

Open the doors.

Soon, there will be no more people.

When Nehemiah set out to rebuild Jerusalem's walls, it says that his enemies continuously tried to demoralize the builders. They simply attempted to stop the work. They tried extortion, accusation, physical threats, confusion, and yet the wall continued to be built.

As Christians, battles are won and lost in our minds.

We must understand that our feelings can be manipulated by people, culture, television, and even the devil himself.

My mind is not for sale.

Is anyone with me?

We do not have to accept every thought that floats through our minds as our own. As a matter of fact, the Bible specifically says "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" in 2 Corinthians 10:5. Do you know what that means for you and I? It means that no matter how bad the battle rages in your mind, you can choose your thoughts.

Joyce Meyer says "right feelings follow right actions." I believe this with my whole heart.

If your thought-life is unstable, powerless, depressing, or fearful, then you must consider that your condition could be the result of an arrow, a poisonous spear of deception, launched strategically at your mind!

When you begin to understand that Christ can redeem every negative thought, feeling, or demoralized moment in your life--then you will begin to experience the peace that is only found in Christ Jesus.

Do you know that one of Satan's greatest tactical weapons is a spirit of confusion. It is a process of demoralizing a person to the point that they can no longer rationalize correctly. When we are God's children, yet we are not living in victory over sin, it is a good indication that we are being demoralized (or thrown into confusion) by the Enemy. Remember, he cannot tell the truth, for the truth is not in him. Are you being accused tonight? Are you being lied to about your life, your health, your marriage, your identity?

{Lord, Jesus, I come to you tonight on behalf of my brothers and sisters in Christ and I command in Jesus name that a spirit of confusion be removed from our households. Your word says in 1 Corinthians 14:33 that You are "not the author of confusion, but of peace." Lord, we know that we do not war against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and principalities of this present darkness. Reveal to us where we have been deceived by a spirit of confusion. If we have given up ground in our minds to Satan willingly or foolishly, forgive us and set us free. In Jesus name, show us how to let the peace of Christ dwell in our hearts and minds.}

500 containers of $1.80 guacamole

2011-12-19T22:03:00.000-08:00

Tonight I had a choice.

We all get choices.

Sometimes, we are wise.

Sometimes, we are like the foolish man who built his house upon the sand. We make foolish decisions and we build our lives on sand. And the waves & wind come and beat upon our house, and as if in slow motion our world washes away with the tide.

After 12 hours of Christmas shopping, I sat down alone in Chipotle to eat my dinner. I got my bowl just the way I liked it. I got out a pen and paper and started writing and re-writing all the presents I had bought. I also felt guilty. Even though I had tried to be wise, somehow I had gone way overboard with my spending.

Then, a man sat at the end of my long stainless table.

He had a bag of chips and one, small $1.80 container of guacamole. I wondered if I was looking into the eyes of a homeless man. He was dirty and unshaven. His clothes looked like they hadn't been cleaned in a long time. He ate two bites and started towards the door. Immediately, I watched the girl across from me spring out of her seat. She ran towards him and called out. They talked in hushed words at the door and she brought him back into the line.

She bought him a meal.

I looked at my list and looked at my half-eaten bowl and realized that my whole day was folly. With what I had spent that day, I could have bought that man 500 containers of $1.80 guacamole and chips.

Another woman handed the stranger a wad of cash.

I packed my list up and shoved everything into my purse. I got some money out and approached the man too.

We all get choices.

I handed the weathered old gentlemen some cash and told him Merry Christmas. He was polite and grateful.

He told me thank you.

I should have been the one thanking him.

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2

Feelings

2011-12-12T19:44:00.000-08:00

"Right feelings always follow right actions." Joyce Meyer

I think she says it best.

The Junk Drawer

2011-12-09T05:46:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, I hated my junk drawer.

We have a love/hate relationship.

Me and my junk drawer.

I love my junk drawer on days when I can hide things in it. Doesn't everyone have one? Maybe it's not ever a drawer. Maybe it's a closet or a room in your house. It's the place where all those things that don't ever seem to find a permanent home end up. Our junk drawer is filled to the brim. It started out looking so nice. It had some appliance manuals and school supplies in it.

Then, one day a bag of foam letters exploded in it ~~or shall I say a triplet dumped the whole bag out.~~

Sigh.

From then on it was all downhill; the manuals got crumpled, the pencils spilled all over the place, and erasers got thrown around like confetti. Then, somehow, Hello Kitty ductape came to the rescue and helped every resident of the junk drawer stick together.

Sigh.

I normally love that junk drawer. I can hide things in it. I can slide manuals and stuff into it. But, yesterday...

Yesterday, I hated the junk drawer.

Yesterday I needed something from it.

Yesterday, I needed the Foam letter Y.

Turns out, there was only one Foam Y in the entire junk drawer and our school project only lacked a foam Y.

Do you know how much I hated that junk drawer yesterday. The only thing I hated more than the junk drawer was all the junk I had to pull out of it to find one, little, foam Y.

Y me?

We got the project finished.

We found one Y.

Then, it dawned on me, how our minds can be just like that junk drawer. We love the fact that people can't see what we think. But, God sees. He sees straight through our brains and right into our hearts. He hears every thought and knows the intent of the heart. We also hate our junk drawers when we can't control them. See, when we let junk live and take up residence in our minds; it only stays nice and neat for a season.

Junk will be junk.

The junk in your mind goes straight to your heart and eventually spills out of your mouth. We might be able to conceal it for a little while, but it always catches up to us.

Think about your mind today.

Is it nice and neat?

A place of peace where Christ comfortably dwells?

Or is it filled up with junk? Fear? Envy? Hate? Insecurity?

Let's pray about it together.

The Battle for Your Mind

2011-12-02T07:54:00.001-08:00

Sometimes things don't line up like I expect.

I get disappointed.

I get frustrated.

Take loyalty for example:

I am extremely loyal when it comes to my family, my friends, and my business relationships.

Loyalty is a good thing.

But, a loyal heart scorned can get really ugly.

Soon, one of my best traits can send me spiraling into a really ugly inner-dialogue when someone doesn't return the loyalty.

I digress.

Suddenly, I'm bitter because I felt someone didn't treat me like I thought they should.

Then, the good trait becomes my Achilles Heel.

It kills peace. It kills productivity. It kills the present and threatens the future.

Internal Combustion.

We smile and tell the world "We are doing great!"

We put up our best pictures on Facebook and share how wonderful our lives are via Twitter.

But, inside we are a mess, and worst off– we can hide it for a season.

I don't know about you, but Satan's not getting my mind.

It's a decision you and I have to make as our feet hit the floor every morning.

It's something I fail at greatly, but strive for daily.

There is no easy button, but there is a solution:

Saturation.

It's a process of renewing our minds continually with the word of God.

{If you turn to my discipline, then I will pour out my Spirit on you and teach you my words.}

Proverbs 1:23

We have a choice each day to have the mind of Christ–to put on the helmet of Salvation, or to let Satan rule our thinking.

{The battle for your mind is one of the bloodiest battles you will ever face as a Christian.}

Today, I want you to see the tactical spiritual warfare for what it is:

If Satan can't have your soul, he's lost you eternally. However, if he can have your mind, he has your focus, your joy, your productivity– so he ultimately has you.

{As a Christian, your mind is your Achilles Heel.}

He'll take any inch you give him; he'll twist, confuse, contort, lie, and destroy you from the inside out. Our help comes from the Lord and He is anxious to deliver us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually today.

Phillipians 4:8

{Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.}

Home

2011-11-22T20:57:00.001-08:00

Today I am blessed to be a guest blogger on my friend Tammy's blog. Or should I say, "I'm tickled pink!" If you click over, you'll see what I mean. Life has been moving at a pretty rapid pace for our family these days. I am trying not to let the "busyness" of fall roll over me. Sometimes, you just have to purposefully pause. God is good, is He not? Hope you will pause and enjoy my post today entitled, Home.

Crying in my Wheaties

2011-11-11T17:20:00.001-08:00

If you are struggling with your diet, the gluten-free lifestyle, food allergies, or just having a good 'ole game of tug-of-war with your food...

...hop over to Finding Heaven Today with Jenn and check out my guest post "Crying in my Wheaties."

Caped Crusaders + their Southern Belle Sidekick

2011-11-09T05:44:00.000-08:00

It looks like our community can rest safely at night knowing these guys are around!

Disclaimer: Why I smelled at church on Sunday

2011-11-08T07:53:00.000-08:00

I'm not so sure if this post should be A) public knowledge or B) tagged under 'Playroom' or 'Dirty Laundry' for it was surely some dirty laundry.

It all started Sunday morning with ~~I know you'll be shocked~~ a late start. Yet, despite my waking up 30 minutes late for church I managed to get out the door with make-up, hair straightened, and my favorite pair of black winter boots. ~~Yes, it was cold in Texas for like a day.~~ I was sans hubby and 1 triplet, but they were going to catch up with us at church. I can't remember why that happened either. So, I crawl into the car and notice that my car smells realllyyyy funky.

Moms know.

It's that combination between a hot dog and a dirty penny ~~and no that's not Texas slang for anything.~~ My car stunk. And it had not smelled the night before. There is evidence of life in my car at all times: jackets, old Sunday school papers, the occasional wrapper from Sonic, but I keep a pretty nice smelling car. And gratefully leather seats don't soak up spills ~~whew!~~

I turn on the air and roll down the windows to make the smell go away.

At this point, I'm wondering if I'm crazy and maybe the smell was breakfast and in my head. I get out, check out the contents of the car and set my phone on the hood. I turn on the car and when I blast the air....the smell multiplied as fast as the dirty laundry does in my house. I put the car in reverse and slam on the brakes as I see a car pulling out behind me while I watch my cell phone fly across the hood.

~~And whose husband insisted that my phone doesn't need insurance. Oh yeah, that would be mine.~~

Baby A & C and I all start to gag.

Thankfully, no one throws up ~~as Baby A has been known to trigger buckets of throw-up when she simply thinks about something gross.~~

We arrive at church.

I stink.

I figure all I need is a little time. Time was my friend. However, time was not on my side as we were already 5 minutes late. To make matters worse, I was visiting a new sunday school class for the first time.

I head to the bathroom to let myself air out ~~praying all the way that God would take away my smell!~~

This smell had some serious staying power.

I head to class. I arrive into a very intimate setting of ladies. ~~Of all days...~~ The only lady in the whole class I know comes to sit right next to me. Gosh. I didn't even know what to say, cause I knew I totally wreaked!

I lean in and whisper, "I'm sorry you're sitting next to me, I totally smell like food for some reason." And she just giggles ~~while I'm sure she was quietly throwing up in her mouth.~~

Sunday school ends and I dodge as many people as I can to get to my seat. But, lo and behold my two new friends head over to give me a big hug (Sorry girls). I shake some hands and pray that no one sits next to me.

Enter in husband.

I immediately go to explaining under my breath "I smell like a hot dog and a dirty penny and I cannot figure out why. Something is in my car or maybe a mouse died in my air conditioning vent or there is some penicillin growing on my floor board! I don't know but I stink so bad I cannot stand it myself!"

Husband holds nose and leans far away.

Thanks, yeah thank you for YOUR UNDIVIDED LOVE AND SUPPORT!

The service marched forward. I think I threw up in my mouth and knew everyone around me could smell me. There was just something about that smell. With time, it only grew worse, not better.

Once the service ended I told Robb to get the kids. I didn't want them to smell like me, even though I feared for their smell through sunday school too. I practically ran out of the sanctuary so that no one else would want to chat or hug ~~although I am usually all about verbal and nonverbal communication alike.~~

As I pull out of the parking lot, Robb and the kids are heading to their car. And being the LOVING, SUPPORTIVE, MATURE person that he is, he has the children yell at the top of their lungs...

"YOU STINK!"

...as I bolted from the parking lot. Thanks guys - love you TOO!

When I get home, I began cleaning out the big blue beast. It wasn't so bad. And I still couldn't figure out why it smelled so bad. I set my keys in the seat and started lugging jackets, old Sunday school papers, and the occasional wrapper from Sonic to our big blue trash can. ~~Why our neighborhood only allows one trash can, I am still not sure. Don't they know who we are? Anyhoo...~~

Then, I spot it.

A double-knotted Wal-Mart sack.

Now, if you are a mom and you have double-knotted a Wal-Mart sack, then we all know what that means. It means...dirty underwear. It means that the kind of incident that occurred happened at someone else's home who did NOT WANT THOSE THINGS IN THEIR WASHER. And in the name of thriftiness ~~cause you throw away the REALLY bad ones already~~ you get a Wal-Mart sack and you bag them up. You bring them home and you contaminate your own washer. Yes, I raise boys! From time to time, that little, double-knotted sack gets left...in....the...car.

And apparently, because I love to draw conclusions, if you leave a sack of streaked laundry in your car for 4 days ...it will smell the equivalent of a hot dog and a dirty penny. And so will you. Just a little word of warning.

To everyone that follows me on Facebook, somewhere before the discovery of doublet-knotted Wal-Mart sack with a surprise inside ~~but very unlike a Happy Meal~~ is how my keys also found their way into the big, blue trash can.

Happy Tuesday Everyone! Happy Tuesday! And to whoever suggested it, you are so right, they need an APP FOR THAT!

In The Wilderness

2011-11-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years.

{That's}

...480 months

...2086 weeks

...14,600 days

...350,400 hours
...21,024,000 minutes
and 1,261,440,000 seconds.

{After the death of Moses the Lord's servant, the Lord spoke to Joshua son of Nun, who had served Moses: "Moses My servant is dead. Now you and all the people prepare to cross over the Jordan to the land I am giving the Israelites. I have given you every place where the sole of your foot treads, just as I promised Moses. Your territory will be from the wilderness and Lebanon to the great Euphrates River- all the land of the Hittites- and west to the Mediterranean Sea. No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. I will be with you, just as I was with Moses..."} Joshua 1:1-5a

Are you wandering through the wilderness today?

Your promised land might not be as far away as you think.

Let's trust God today to lead us there. May we be willing to examine our hearts to make certain we are on the right road.

{"...I will not leave you or forsake you."} Joshua 1:5b

Christian Witchcraft

2011-11-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

Questions and Answers with Kristine McGuire Part 2

Q1: You mention in your testimony that you were co-mingling your Christian faith with witch-craft. Do you believe this is common in Christianity and other religions? Ever run any stats?

I have never run the stats but I think it would be a good idea. No. I listen to what people are saying, the teaching made available in books or from pulpits. I've noticed the influx of mysticism into church thought (Eastern practices such as meditation, yoga). The prominence given to experiences over sound biblical teaching. The interest in the supernatural or paranormal (Christian Ghost Hunting groups are on the rise, Christians are going to mediums, or acting as mediums and psychics).The idea of being "spiritual but not religious" seems to allow some Christians to incorporate many beliefs into their own.

Q2: What has God shown you since you left your pagan roots about the danger of mixing light and darkness?
His mercy is never ending. He will chase us high and low, drawing us back to Him. The enemy is very good at counterfeiting God's good gifts (especially the spiritual ones). He put warnings about those practices in His word for our protection because nothing good comes from mixing the things of God with the things of the enemy or the world.

Q3: I listened to the audio file on your website, wow! Can you tell us a little more about how you felt when you heard that recording for the first time?
Stunned. As I heard the scream (upon realizing what I was listening to) I thought "this is straight up scripture stuff. I'm listening as a demon responds to the name of JESUS!". It kind of freaked me out. And I'd seen and heard a lot of strange and scary things over the years but especially as a medium and ghost hunter. This topped them all in the significance of what it represented.

Q4: I know my readers are probably wondering this: how do you biblically explain the presence of ghosts? Or do you?
I've actually written several articles on this subject. I'll share what I wrote most recently in "Why Are There Ghosts?":

The Bible clearly teaches that human beings do not remain on Earth after death. InHebrews 9:27, we learn "…each person is destined to die once and after that comes judgment…". Those who have accepted Christ as Savior enter into God's presence (2 Corinthians 5:6-8, Philippians 1:23). Those who have not enter a place of punishment for sin, separated from God (Matthew 25:46, Luke 16:22-24).
The dead do not remain among the living.
The Bible does teach there are spirit beings who can and do interact with our physical world. Angels are spirit beings created by God to serve Him. They are holy, righteous, and good. Demons are angels who have rebelled against God. They are fallen, evil, destructive, and deceptive.
2 Corinthians 11:14-15 tells us "But I am not surprised! Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no wonder that his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. In the end they will get the punishment their wicked deeds deserve."
Impersonating a human spirit is certainly within a demon's capabilities.
The goal of a demonic spirit is to deceive human beings, draw us away from God. Appearances by and communication with the dead are one means by which they can accomplish that goal. People begin trusting psychics and mediums for spiritual counsel, adopting false beliefs about God and the after-life. This is why God vehemently opposes the practice. Even if the information obtained seems good, positive, or true when received through demonic sources (ghosts, ascended masters, spirit guides, etc) the result is corrupt and misleading.
Q5: I found a striking similarity in both yours and Marni Arnold's testimony: both of you mention how badly you were seeking answers to questions that Judaism and Christianity weren't giving you. Do you think Christians are failing at discipleship and why?

Yes, I do. When I began having serious doubts (started asking questions) I was told my problem was that I didn't have enough faith. I should stop worrying about just trust Jesus. No one was willing to talk to me. No matter how much I reached out, tried to make friends at church I couldn't break into anyone's circle. I was on my own. I think we as Christians have this idea that Sunday morning worship or attendance in Sunday school/home group, is meeting people's discipleship needs. Discipleship is more one on one or very small groups of people. Christians need to be studying the Bible for themselves (in addition to listening to pastors and teachers), walking out faith together. I'm sure there are many people who have that kind of fellowship/discipleship going on, but it wasn't my experience. I think a lot of people are being left out in the cold trying to figure things out on their own. This makes a person vulnerable to wrong teaching or belief.

Q6: I know there are some practicing Wiccans reading today, what would you say to them about who Jesus is to you today?
Jesus is everything to me. My rock, my deliverer. My teacher and friend. He is my Lord.

Q7: What advice do you have for Christians that are dabbling in the dark side?

Don't. Playing with anything which has ties to the occult is opening a spiritual door into your life. The Bible is our source of truth, wisdom, and life. Make it your goal to study it, absorb God's word into your heart and mind. Why turn to the things of this world (which may seem good/light/right for a time) when we can have an intimate relationship with God?

In Christ,

Kristine

www.kristinemcguire.com

Note from Jessie: I hope you have enjoyed Marni & Kristine at Jessie's House for the past four days. There is no end to how far our Father in Heaven pursues a love relationship with us. There is nothing that can separate us from the love of Christ.

³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38 & 39

A Christian Witch: One girl's testimony by Kristine McGuire

2011-10-31T11:30:00.000-07:00

His Amazing Grace ~ My Testimony

Kristine McGuire

I was raised in a traditional Christianhome. I accepted Jesus as mySavior at Vacation Bible School when I was six years old. However, there wereother influences in my life. I was aware of the unseen world around me. And Iwas absolutely fascinated by the occult. Ghosts, witches, mediums, psychics,haunted houses.

I wanted to learn about it all.

Growing up, my greatest ambition was to be afortune teller (or a missionary in Africa. Go figure). My friends and I wouldpretend to be psychic or read each others palms. We would have “séances” atbirthday sleepovers, tell ghoststories, try to conjure the face of “Bloody Mary” in the mirror, or levitateeach other with our fingertips.

As a teenager I started reading the Biblemyself. I learned that God has warned against all of the mysterious, magicalthings I enjoyed. I loved God. I didn't want to offend Him, so I stoppedparticipating in occult games and seeking psychic experiences. The problem---thedesire remained. Even as I devoted myself to God, went to a Christian college,met and married a Christian man, there was a longing deep within me to explorethose hidden occult interests.

My husband and I were very active in church. Asa child I knew a relationship with God was based on His mercy but some how overthe years I lost that vital understanding of my Savior. I forgot His mercy. Ilistened to others who suggested to be a "real Christian" you had tofollow certain rules, live a certain way, to be godly. I became legalistic, replacinga relationship with God for religion in a quest to be “perfect”.

Over the years, I became angry. When lifebecame difficult I was confused. All my efforts (prayer, reading scriptureevery day, attending church) seemed to be ignored by God. My family wasn'tprosperous despite doing all the correct things or saying the right words. Unable to live up to my strict demandsof perfection I became depressed. I stopped reading the Bible and gave up onprayer. Church became a rote exercise. My relationship with my husband becamestrained as we struggled under unrealistic expectations.

I first learned about Wicca in 1995.Spiritually hungry, I began to study anything I could find which would answerthe questions which were swirling in my mind. I found a book, drawn by thepromise of understanding magic from the title. It wasn't until 1999, when Icame to the conclusion that Christianity wasn’t working for me, that I tookthe information I learned about witchcraft and goddess worship as my own.

I began searching the Internet for information,joining pagan message boards, and befriending those with like minds or who couldanswer my questions. I studied mythology. I learned about herbs, crystals,colors, as well as divination techniques such as the tarot and pendulum.

For the first year I hid my mystical practicesfrom my husband. He was going through his own emotional and spiritualstruggles. I attended church, taught preschool in a Christian daycare.

{I wore a convincing Christian mask.}

Eventually, I left my marriage and the church.I believed I had found freedom.

Over the next several years I worshipped thegoddess, explored psychic development, and became a Claire sentient Medium. In2005 I added ghost hunting to my ever expanding list of occult interests andactivities.

And yet, despite my willful disobedience, Godwas not about to let me go easily. The Holy Spirit was always there, remindingme of His presence, convicting me of my sin. More than once I worried I'd made amistake. I would waffle betweenChristianity and witchcraft, throwing away all of my books and witchcraftsupplies. If only there had been true repentance. I tried to be a “good Christian”only to return to theCraft a month or so later.

You see, I still loved the Father, Son, andHoly Spirit. I wanted to be able to worship God but practice witchcraft. So Idecided to bring my past faith into my current practice. I began culling fromboth Christianity and witchcraft, keeping what I liked from each while leavingthe rest behind.

I became a Christian witch.

While creating my own unique (and hidden)spiritual path, I went back to church. Five years after our initial separationand several attempts to fix what was broken, my husband and I reunited. He hadgotten his life and faith straightened out. He knew I was practicingwitchcraft, working as a medium, and going on paranormal investigations. Hedecided to love me where I was and pray.

I believed I'd found my answer. I discoveredother Christians who were “synchronizing” their religious beliefs with mysticism as well. I was content forthe first time in years.

God had other plans.

My husband was away, working in Georgia foreight weeks, when I got the call from my ghost hunting team. We were doing anemergency investigation a few days after Thanksgiving 2007. My job, as amedium, was to go into the environment and give a reading. No prior details,other than the address, would be given. I would conduct a videotaped walkthrough of the area. The team would hold "vigils" in the areas I haddesignated as supernatural "hot spots".

That particular night I sensed a very hostilespirit in the home. I recognized it as demonic (what I called at the time"inhuman") spirit being. The team experienced some odd activity inthe area where I sensed this presence most strongly. At one point during theinvestigation, I commanded the spirit to leave in the name of Jesus.

The team I worked with was very serious aboutparanormal investigation. Everything we did was from a desire to help peopleexperiencing frightening or unexplainable events. We went in to every locationarmed with digital recorders, cameras, and other equipment. When an interestingEVP (electronic voice phenomena) was recorded the team leader would send it tome. A few days after theThanksgiving ghost hunt, he emailed me an audio clip from the investigation.

Donning my head phones I played it.

Over the two years I worked with the team Iheard a number of interesting EVP's from our investigations. Whispers recordedwhen no one was in a room. Strange knocks or taps on walls.

I can honestly say I've never heard anythingquite like what was on this particular audio.

The file began right after I commanded the"inhuman spirit" to leave the house in the name of Jesus. I'mrecorded saying "You're uninvited!" after which the team leaderquipped "You can't follow me home." Suddenly you hear what can only be described as an angryshriek followed by a loud thump. Honestly, it's one of the weirdest things Ihave ever heard. As I sat there, listening to the audio clip over and over, Iwas completely stunned. Believe what you will, but I knew I was hearing a demon scream inresponse to Jesus name.

I was as self deceived as a Christian could be.Jesus was still with me. Even coming from my lips, the authority and power ofHis name could still make demons scream and flee. It was as if a veil had beenplaced over my head all those years and someone had suddenly yanked it off.

My husband is a professional audio engineer. Hetested the audio file. There was nothing fake or anything he could explain toaccount for the strange scream. I spent the next day or so reading my Bible. Iread all the verses about witchcraft, mediums, consulting psychics, divination.I read Matthew 6:22-23 (NLT):

“Your eye is a lamp that provides light foryour body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, yourwhole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep thatdarkness is!"

I got down on my face before God and repentedof everything, praying for hours, weeping, confessing, and rebuking demons I'dallowed into my life and family. God's mercy delivered me. My life is centeredfirmly in Jesus Christ. And I thank Him every day for His amazing grace.

Kristine McGuire is a Christian inspirational speaker/writer, sharing her testimony and encouraging others in their walk with Christ. She is a wife, mother, and Biblical Counselor through the American Association of Christian Counselors. Kristine is a featured columnist for Positively Feminine. Her book, Escaping the Cauldron, will be published by Charisma House in Fall 2012. Escaping the Cauldron is a personal memoir and Biblical study recounting Kristine's journey from committed Christian to witch, medium, and ghost hunter for eight years until restored to faith in Jesus Christ. You can connect with Kristine at: Kristine ReMixed, http://www.kristinemcguire.com on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/AuthorKristineMcGuire

Wiccans: Questions and Answers with Marni Arnold

2011-10-30T11:16:00.000-07:00

Q1: What was so alluring about Paganism/Wicca that enticed you to leave your Jewish roots to follow that path?

What was alluring to me was the control I was led to believe I had; to find the answers I never could get from any family, friends or respected teachers or Rabbi's about God, His ways, or the many "why's" of life. If no one else, even God Himself, wasn't going to answer me - I was going to find the answers on my own. I also deeply desired to find myself, felt that since Judaism wasn't providing me with the tools to help- and the books I was picking up on Wicca and Witchcraft were providing such answers - it was easy for me to embrace it as truth.

Q2: What was your first Halloween like as a practicing Wiccan?

My first Halloween, or Samhain (sow-en, is how it's pronounced - as it is Gaelic for "summers end"), was celebrated with a small coven (group of Pagans who practice together exclusively) that I had helped develop. We had a typical Halloween party for all kinds of people who attended - even those who weren't Pagan - but, in a back room of the house was a room set up for a particular ritual in which people could choose to participate in if they so wished (it wasn't forced upon them). It was a ritual that at first deeply spooked me, but then I found myself becoming comfortable with it because I didn't want to be afraid - even though I was.

Q3: Did you worship Satan at all in your time as a Pagan?

No. The majority of Pagans, Wiccans, and Witches don't embrace the concept of a devil, or even Satan himself. However, in working with the side of life that God demands we stay away from, for it is very real; it has great potential to lure people into a life that works with a more negative, dark side that can easily lead one down the path that literally rides the border of hell itself. It has a lot to do with intent and motive.

{The reason God desires for us to be as far away from this part of life is because our human natures aren't designed to handle the spirit realm in this capacity}.

Q4: You mentioned in our private interview that Wiccans typically desire to dispel negativity, but did you find the lifestyle you ended up leading to be a lifestyle free of strife? In your experience, what was the personality culture within the various groups you were engaged with?

Very good question, Jessica - and the answer is a profound no.

For the most part, most Pagans strive to live as far from negativity as they possibly can. They don't welcome it into their lives willingly - however, it doesn't mean that negativity never finds it's way in at times. In my case, however, I constantly seemed to run into people who had deep power control issues that caused great negativity, and therefore it caused great strife in my life which kept feeding my desire to control my environment and discovery for answers even more.

Q5: Tell us about the illness you mentioned in your testimony, the week you decided to give up working with the Pagan public a year prior to your salvation?

I was violently sick to my stomach for five days due to the deep negativity that pierced through me while in the last public ritual I was in as a Pagan. My husband and I chalked it up as a spiritual attack, because it was the only reasonable explanation due to the fact our doctor couldn't even pinpoint why I was so sick.

Q6: At what point after you left the coven that night did you accept Christ?

One year, to the date. Dec. 21, 2002 - I left the ritual as sick, and burdened, as I could be in my life. And unbeknownst to me, I found myself at a Christmas Cantata on Dec. 21, 2003 in a Church accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior.

Q7: I want to run some global statistics by you. What is your gut reaction to this fascination with Witchcraft in our world?
1,000,000 monthly searches for the term "Wicca" via Google.
40,500 monthly searches for the term "Wiccan spells" via Google.
3,350,000 monthly searches for the term "Witchcraft" via Google.
7,480,000 monthly searches for the phrase "How to be a Witch" via Google.

Honestly, it doesn't shock me at all. The reason is because of the immersion I was a part of with this life. I lived this life for six years, and I met many people who you would never think would be practicing Pagans - even right here in the Bible Belt, where I live.

The allure of control, positivity, finding what works just for yourself, and making a religion that works within your own life view is very attractive. With a world that seeks to always control people, that is filled with negativity, and religions that seem (on the surface) to be extremely restrictive - it's easy for the human mind and heart to wander into ways that offer a seemingly easier way to live which already matched the ideals we hold within our minds and hearts. Paganism holds that kind of attraction to a good majority of people - Christian and non-Christian alike.

Q9: What advice would you give anyone interested in the supernatural world?

That with as much light, positive, beautiful and fantastic ideals that promise a life that is easier than the one you live now - question it highly, and don't accept it as truth.

Life has a great amount of darkness in this world, and it comes at us from all different angles and avenues trying to break us down to the points our absolute breaking points. Yet, it's in these breaking point moments where we have an absolute decision to make - do we rely on ourselves to make our lives right, or do we turn our lives over to the only One who can make them right; Jesus Christ?

Q10: What has God shown you since you left Paganism and became a Christian?

That a life lived without Him is no life at all. It's merely a facade of a life...an idea of what we think it can or is supposed to be.

Life is only found in Christ, for in our creation by our Father's hands, there is only life found in the creator of our lives; not the natural state of this world. Certainly, we are born (naturally) into this world, but our bodies...minds...hearts (physical, beating ones)...they aren't what (or even who) we are. Our true identity, our seeking out of who God truly is and the answers we so desperately want to know about Him and so much more, are only found in one place...Christ.

Q11: If there is anyone reading this today, who was where you were then, what would you say to them?

Know you are not alone. Though the Church at times can be a cold place for those redeemed of a life of Paganism, due to so many just being undereducated (or not even educated at all) within the Church, your life...your testimony...your voice in telling your testimony...it all matters. God deeply desires for you to "come out of the closet" again to reveal His glory in your life, to offer hope to others who are either dabbling with, or deep in practice of, the Pagan ways. It's our job to help educate those in your community and beyond about the realities of Paganism and Witchcraft, and why it needs to be avoided.

"Marni Arnold is a happily married wife, and stay-at-home-mom to one son - whom she home schools - in Charlotte, NC. Attending Liberty University Online for her Bachelor's of Science in Religion, she is also an author whom is working on her first book and blogs at RelevantBrokenness.com. Her professional background is in EMS/Fire, and comes from a very diverse spiritual background as well. Marni enjoys reading, meeting with people over coffee, music, movies, autumn days filled with leaf tossing and laughter, as well as art, science and historical museums."

The Wiccan Religion: An interview with Marni Arnold

2011-10-29T12:09:00.000-07:00

Halloween is just around the corner. Now that the 21 day study on {X}pecting God's Radical Provision is complete, I thought we could talk about something a bit different, but appropriate for this time of year. Witches. Pagans. Witchcraft. How to be a witch. These terms produce thousands, sometimes millions, of hits on google each month. The fact is, on a global level, we are fascinated with the supernatural. This fascination leads both Christians and non-Christians down dangerous paths. Yes, you heard me right; there are even Christians who are secretly practicing witchcraft. Over the next 4 days, we are going to explore this topic with two women. They have given me both their testimonies and done a Q & A session with me. I'd love to introduce you to, my friend, Marni Arnold.

How He Loves Me byMarni Arnold

The words from JohnMark Macmillan song "How He Loves"rings through my head when I'm asked how He rescued me from the miry spirituallife I was leading nearly 8 years ago as a practicing Witch.

It's a difficultquestion to answer, because how He rescues any of us from any area of our livesis an absolute miracle.

My story is no greater than the one whofound salvation at 6 years old in a small Baptist church all because of analtar call.

My story is no greater than the alcoholicwho found Christ at the bottom of the bottle and realized they needed Him morethan another shot.

My story is simply one more way God simply gets to show offHis glory and love. It'sone that reveals that He is willing to reach down into the filthiest, mostputrescent areas of life and pull out of it the brilliant gem that He needs tohave reflect every facet of who He is.

It so happened Hedid this for me all starting the night of Dec. 21, 2002 where I found myself inthe midst of my last public Pagan ritual welcoming in the season of winter.This night is burned into my memory so I will never forget His answer to thevery first prayer I wholeheartedly prayed to Him.

During the ritual, Ifelt so disgustingly ill that all I wanted to do was throw up. I feltnegativity unlike any other in my life course through my body, and my heart andmind were rejecting it with all their might. Hatred, jealousy, anger,lust...all these things went through me easily as a well sharpened blade.

Then looking upon thecold, crystal clear night sky sparking with glitter - but only seeing faintimages of the brilliance due to the black swirling cloud that hovered over theritual circle like a bad storm only made things worse - I desired to be sodistinctly separate from it all. God granted my prayer immediately when I spokein my spirit to Him, "God, get meout of here now!"

He did justthat...but, He didn't let me escape consequences of my decision to be in thatritual. For five days, I was physically ill without any medical explanation.Upon my husband and I discussing the matter together, we were convinced I hadindeed experienced a spiritual attack of some kind, and my body was purging thepoison of it.

How God did what He did that night, I will never know...butHe did it. And Hecontinued to pursue me throughout this next year, until one night when Idecided to visit a friend's Church with my husband.

We had gotten arounda group of business men and women, during 2003, who were Christians - and Goddid some overtime on me to grab my heart. He knew I loved Christmas music, evenas a young Jewish girl, and the day we visited at this Church, an invitation toa Christmas Cantata was put out to the congregation. I grabbed a hold of theinvitation, and attended...and upon arriving, He began to soften my heart,prompting my spirit to meet Him up at the altar that night. I had no idea whatI was really doing when I walked up...but I knew I needed to be up there.

When a woman in achoir robe came to me and asked me if I needed prayer, and I looked at herconfused, her response was, " Areyou ready to receive Him?" Immediately, my heart melted into the formof tears gushing from my eyes. At this moment, I embraced Him into my heart andlife...and have been walking to know Him better since.

Upon walking out ofthe Church that night, it utterly took me by surprise when I got into my truckto call my husband to inform him of my decision when I noticed on my phone thedate.

Dec. 21, 2003.

One year exactly from the date I left my last Pagan rituallike I had the weight of the world on my shoulders trying to bury me alive, Herescued me and redeemed me completely.

I couldn't haveorchestrated this story any better myself even if I tried.

My life...the storyHe's given me to tell...is nothing but the sheer grace of His love that reacheddown into the vileness of all I had done, was doing, and would yet do...andpulled me out of it all. He took the weight of that cold Dec. night in 2002,along with everything else, and breathed life into me.

I'm eternallythankful to Him for that moment...and every other moment He's given me to livefor Him. It's not been the easiest of journey's....but it's one I wouldn'texchange for anything.

"Marni Arnold is a happily married wife, and stay-at-home-mom to one son - whom she home schools - in Charlotte, NC. Attending Liberty University Online for her Bachelor's of Science in Religion, she is also an author whom is working on her first book and blogs at RelevantBrokenness.com. Her professional background is in EMS/Fire, and comes from a very diverse spiritual background as well. Marni enjoys reading, meeting with people over coffee, music, movies, autumn days filled with leaf tossing and laughter, as well as art, science and historical museums."

Day 21: God's unchanging character

2011-10-29T06:20:00.000-07:00

I don't pretend that these 21 days have been easy. I know that you've asked God some very difficult questions. So have I. We often struggle to get back to "normal." And sometimes that is just not possible. But, I believe in a God that makes new normals (streams in the desert). I know that because of Jesus in my life, I can press on until He returns. Isn't that the one singular hope that we can stand on when everything else feels like it's falling a part? I think so.

Sure, our feelings will always exist to confirm the enemies plan for our lives. Yet, as we mature in Christ, and put on the helmet of salvation, God can deliver us from mighty strongholds that have tripped us up for decades. I challenge you to take up the armor God gave you. We can't control people or circumstances, but we can control ourselves. Think of Job, was he not living in God's favor when his house literally collapsed with all his loved ones inside? He was actually doing everything right, and tragedy (great tragedy) still came into his life. Yet, God delivered Him and restored him. It would be foolish to think that Job never mourned those losses again, the story ends at his redemption. However, as humans, we know that he probably hurt forever. Yet, Job still lived and prospered in the land of the living. Job gave honor and glory and praise continually to His Father in Heaven. Job knew he lived in a fallen world, but that had nothing to do with God's character.

{He knew that God was good, when circumstances were not.}

These days we live in are difficult, and I truly believe that time is short. I believe I will see Jesus in my lifetime return. I wait for that day. But, we must be ready ourselves. We must not allow Satan to derail our emotions, our circumstances, and wreck our ability to witness to those around us who don't know Christ yet. We must anticipate daily, we must {X}pect His Radical Return and let the truth of His return keep us obedient and strengthened inside. I pray that God will bless you immensely; that you will feel His amazing grace. Thanks for coming along on this 21 day journey.

{Jessie K.}

Day 20: When all feels lost

2011-10-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

This week, my new friend decided to believe again after years of searching. It had nothing to do with this study. Or me. It had everything to do with the God of Redemption. The One, who redeemed her and walked beside her through her questions. He counted every step and comforted her through tragedy and loss.

Today, I choose to believe in the Holy God of Redemption; through illness, and kid raising, and trying to be a Godly wife, and waging war against the fear of never feeling normal again.

I choose.

Belief is a choice. When all feels lost, and our belief feels dead and in the grave; there is Jesus.

The One that defeats death and will return one day for his own; those sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise. {Ephesians 1:13 & 14}

Sometimes we have to give ourselves room to feel. Our country doesn't have much time for feelings. We don't have time for hurt, because bills must be paid and meetings scheduled. But, God sees over all that toiling under the sun.

He sees you.

He sees your struggle to make out his footprints in the sands of time. In the space that has gotten filled up with questions and tragedy and fear.

El Roi.

I am expectant despite what I see, because He sees clearly. Despite what I feel. I have hope.

My hope is found in Christ.

Day 19: When your own expectations breed bondage

2011-10-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

My first year of marriage, I picked up a tiny compilation book written by the wives of some well-known pastors. I honestly don't remember the name of the book or much about it at all, except for one section.

One of the wives talked about "unmet expectations" in regards to marriage. She said that marriages collapse so quickly because our expectation of marriage is glamorized, and when those media driven expectations are not met, we question our decision. Most people default to "well I guess I didn't marry the right person" or "he/she changed once we said 'I do.' It's the only thing I remember from the book.

{The expectations we place on others can be the sole reason we don't ever have peace or live the abundant life Jesus purchased for us on the cross}.

Here are some scenarios for you to consider:

1. You think someone doesn't like you, so you put up a wall every time you encounter them. Your expectation is that they don't like you, so everything they say is taken out of context.

2. You were in an abusive relationship, so you believe that all relationships will be the same. You expect abuse instead of love.

3. Your mother criticized your weight your entire life, so inadvertently you pass on those unhealthy behaviors to your children. You expect that they will be criticized in the same way you were, so out of fear, you micro-manage their weight and before you know it, you've passed on the same rejection to your kids.

4. Your own mother stayed home, had the house spotless, and dinner cooked every day when you came home from school. You expect your wife to do the same, and when she doesn't, you argue.

5. Your love language is touch and your spouses is time. You expect him to hug you and hold your hand and he expects time from you. Both of you feel unloved because you give love the way you want to receive it.

6. You feel like you never receive the work promotion you deserve. You hop from job to job, and always blame someone else for a lack of acknowledgment. Finally, you get your chance at a promotion that would change everything. You begin to tell the interviewer about how grateful you are that someone is finally taking you seriously because of your past victimization in the workplace. You find out you did not get the job, because they felt that your attitude hindered your ability to produce for them in the future.

If God has given me one profound revelation in regards to my life, it is that my own expectations can breed bondage in my life. It's not always about someone else, but often about an expectation within my thinking. We have the responsibility to realistically evaluate the expectations we place on those around us. We must view every situation in light of the Bible, and based on what is true, lovely, and right. If we wear our past like an old backpack, we will surely bring it with us everywhere we go.

Today, I want you to truly think about the expecations you place on others. I tried for a long time to develop a friendship between me and someone I felt should have both loved me and been my friend. It was very painful. Then, one day God asked me to release that person to Him. I had been praying fervently that God would either forge a friendship or set me free from the bondage of needing acceptance from that person. I have to say, it worked. I no longer "need" that friendship. If God creates one in the future, then that would be great. But, no matter what happened, I needed release from the expectation of friendship I had placed on that person, from the need to be accepted, and all the rejection surrounding the situation. And God showed up. I pray that today, God shows up for you. I pray for your release from bondage in Jesus Name.

{It was for freedom that Christ set us free therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery}. Galatians 5:1

Day 18: Living Water

2011-10-20T12:35:00.000-07:00

Once we have re-planted our belief into good soil. It's time to cultivate it. When I struggle with unbelief, I don't always deal with it properly. Identifying your unbelief and re-planting in good soil will do you no good if you skip this step: Water it with living water. Feeding on God's word crowds out a spirit of unbelief. It is only through the truth of scripture that we grow in faith and unbelief takes a backseat. Why?

{Because confessing a scripture directly linked to your area of struggle is the proper way to wage war in a spiritual battle}.

{We cannot win spiritual battles if we wage war with earthly weapons}.

Here are some ways I have unsuccessfuly tried to uproot unbelief in my heart:

{1} Ignore it.

{2} Get man's opinion instead of God's.

{3} Try to resolve it in my own strength.

{4} Read books written by men instead of saturating myself in God's promises.

Listen to the story you probably know as The Woman at the Well. Her first encounter with the Son of God sent unbelief spinning on its' heels. First, Jesus wouldn't have even acknowledged her (or according to her belief he shouldn't have) and then, he proceeds to tell her things that nobody knew. Tonight, I want you to dig into this story. I've listed through verse 10, I challenge you to keep reading. Watch this woman's "belief" system get radically changed by the Son of God.

John 4:1-10

Jesus and the Woman of Samaria

¹Now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John²(although Jesus himself did not baptize, but only his disciples),³he left Judea and departed again for Galilee. ⁴^mAnd he had to pass through Samaria. ⁵So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. ⁶Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour.

⁷A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, "Give me a drink." ⁸(For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) ⁹The Samaritan woman said to him, "How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?" For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.)¹⁰Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water."

Day 17: {X}pecting Good Fruit from Bad Soil

2011-10-19T11:33:00.000-07:00

I want my life to be pleasing to God, however, sometimes I go my own way and fail miserably. The desire to have the abundant life that Christ promised me is something I'm always reaching for, but I don't always have. Why is this? Sometimes believing God for radical provision has less to do with our desires and/or belief and more to do with the soil our faith is planted in. When we give our hearts to Christ, He changes us and the Holy Spirit indwells us. We can want to do God's will, and believe He can do it, and still live in defeat. We remain powerless and still expect God to supernaturally intervene, when in actuality He is waiting on us to re-plant in good soil. God has called us to "come out and be separate" from the world. Your environment, the foundation in which your faith rests, may be the reason you never experience breakthrough in your life.

{We cannot expect good fruit from bad soil}.

Last year my mom was insistent that my dad plant her a garden. And he put it off. She told him that the place where he wanted to plant the garden did not have good soil. She asked him to get new dirt. Fresh dirt. Then, one day, she came home and the garden had been started...in the old, deficient, nutrient poor dirt. And you can only guess what happened - the garden was never a garden. It never produced.

Sometimes we get frustrated with ourselves because of our doubt, our lack of belief, or our questions about a circumstance we face. The answers are not always easy, but sometimes God is trying to get us to re-plant our faith in good soil. What can that mean for you?

You have questions about Christianity. New soil might mean...reading the Bible first-hand.

You feel disconnected from God, though you know you're a Christian. New soil might mean...you get involved in a Bible study.

You might have an addiction to drugs & alcohol, and you want freedom. New soil might mean...new friends that aren't tempting you.

You might be sick and want wholeness. New soil might mean...eating food God's way.

You might have a broken marriage. New soil might mean...turning the television off and devoting one hour of attention each night to your spouse.

Today, I want you to test your soil. Think about it. What does your environment look like? Have you planted your faith by the streams of living water? Can you grow where you're planted?

{And he will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season, and its' leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers}.

Psalm 1:3

Listen to the parable of the sower and ask God to show you what to do next.

{When anyone hears the word of the kingdom, and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is the one on whom seed was sown beside the road}.

Matthew 13:19

{And the one on whom seed was sown on the rocky places this is the man who hears the word, and immediately receives it with joy; yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he falls way}.

Matthew 13:20 & 21

{And the one on whom seed was sown among the thorns, this is the man who hears the word, and the worry of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful}.

Matthew 13:22

{And the one on whom seed was sown on the good soil, this is the man who hears the word and understands it; who indeed bears fruit, and brings forth, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty}.

Matthew 13:23

Day 16: The Prayer that Changes Everything

2011-10-18T06:09:00.000-07:00

I was on a walk with a friend a few years ago. I was barely hanging on. My health was so bad, I had not really been out of the house much that week. As we walked, I tried to hide my desperation, but it was a struggle to remain composed. We talked about little things while my mind tried to follow her conversation. My doctors were confused as to why I was sick every single day, and so was I. I didn't understand why I couldn't get an answer. Why the doctors themselves had no direction or idea? They would just send me home and I was miserable. Finally, she asked, "So how was your week?" I struggled to give an answer, "Not good; the doctors just can't figure out what's wrong with me and I don't know what to do." That was the only sentence I could squeak out without totally falling apart. She didn't give a response, her phone rang and she was off to a more enticing event. I sat there dumbfounded on the street. I felt so isolated in my illness- this mysterious thing that choked life out of each day. And my only friend, didn't make time for a few sentences. I walked on alone. Or was I?

I cried the rest of the walk and unleashed some bitterness that had been building towards God. I had served Him to the best of my knowledge and I couldn't even make it 5 miles down the road to Wal-Mart. I had triplets to raise, a business to run, and obligations. It just seemed so unfair. I felt so abandoned that day when I prayed this prayer:

{Lord, why can't I get breakthrough in my health? No one seems to understand the pain I'm going through and You seem so far away. One of my only friends doesn't even care. Lord, I can't see, but You can. Please, bring the truth about my situation to the surface. Don't let it remain hidden. If I am separated from you, because of something I am doing wrong; show me. Your word says that "the truth sets us free," so send your truth. Do not let it linger or be hindered any longer. Do not let me live in darkness in regards to my health}.

God didn't drop the answer instantly into my lap. However, what I do know is that after I began to pray that prayer daily, breakthrough and diagnosis' from doctors began to pour forth. After praying the same prayer for a few months, I had been diagnosed with gluten sensitivity, adrenal fatigue, and major hormone imbalance. I continue to pray that same prayer over my life each and every day.

{Lord lead me in truth, bring truth to my situation}.

I believe that God honors those who earnestly seek Him. When you seek truth, you find Jesus. When you find Jesus, you find God.

Jeremiah 29:13 says:

{You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart}.

{It's the prayer that changes everything}.

{It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things, He knows what is in the darkness and the light dwells with Him.} Daniel 2:22

Day 15: Waging War and Pressing On

2011-10-17T12:28:00.000-07:00

{For by wise guidance you will wage war, And in abundance of counselors there is victory.}

Proverbs 24:6

You will wage war on this Earth. If you belong to Christ, Satan will not sit idle while you raise up Godly children, raise up God's name, or raise up churches or ministries for the kingdom. He will seek you out for destruction.

{Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. }

1 Peter 5:8

When I lived in Dallas, I lived and breathed the book, "Freedom from Fear" by Neil T. Andersen. In the book, Neil gives a picture of Satan's plan for the life of a believer. I have never forgotten it. Anytime doubt tries to overthrow my belief in Christ's ability to change my circumstance, his example reminds me to press on.

He gives the analogy of walking down a city street with sky-scrapers towering above you. He says, "Imagine if hanging out of every window above you are Satan and his legions. They throw things at you, hurl insults, scream, and attempt to capture your attention. He says, "If you belong to Christ, they can't have your soul, but if they can have your attention and your mind, then they will have victory over you." He talked about how so many of us stop moving forward. We stop and argue with them. We debate them. We get so pre-occupied with our surroundings that we do exactly what they hoped: we stop moving forward. They can't have our soul, but they can have our time, our effort, our peace, and any other ground we are willing to give them.

The finish line is up ahead.

Don't stop. Keep believing. Keep expecting God's radical provision. Keep telling the devil where his place is: under the feet of Jesus and eventually in the lake of fire. Wage war wisely with the sword of the spirit. Wage war in the abundance of counselors- with the men and women of God he has placed in your life to help you in your time of need.

For I know there is victory in Jesus.

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: Choose this Day

2011-10-16T11:37:00.000-07:00

My eyes tell my brain how to feel sometimes. Yet, faith in Christ works contrary to what we see. Faith is believing the unseen. If we continue to believe the lie that our current circumstance, what we see, is a predictor of our future, then we will continue to live in defeat.

{Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth. Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert."}

Isaiah 43:18 & 19

Marriage is not easy. Sometimes the initial feelings we have for our spouses make us think that a lifetime together will indeed be simple. But, merging two lives is never simple. Yet, it is a union designed and blessed by God. He wants us to have victory in our marriages. He wants us to live under His provision as couples, and he knows that feelings are circumstantial. But, true love, rooted in Him can last a lifetime.

I believe that God deals with us each on a personal basis. My relationship is unique with God and so is yours. He knows how to speak to me and He knows how I listen best. He knows our failures and He loves us despite them. What has he told you to do in regards to your marriage? Has he told you...

{To get on your knees and pray}.

{To stay, despite how much brokenness you feel}.

{To take your family to church}.

{To be obedient in an area that He has instructed}.

{To be silent}.

{To speak up and choose your words wisely}.

{To take courage and believe that He is good}.

{To quit feeling guilty over your spouses personal choices}.

There is no spouse that is perfect. We are imperfect, flawed beings. But, we have made vows to God. We must honor them to the best of our ability. You might not have a choice. When someone abandons you, they will be accountable to their actions. You must be accountable to yours. In the aftermath of destruction, we all have a choice to make.

{We cannot let the choices of any person determine our worth & value in Christ Jesus}.

Your life counts. God sent His Son so that you might know love; so that you might know Him personally. We can't control the way others lives, but we can choose this day whom we will serve.

When Your Marriage Falls Apart

2011-10-15T09:49:00.000-07:00

I have many Christian girlfriends experiencing hardship within their marriages right now. Most of them are Christians. Some of their spouses are Christians too and some are not. It is devastating. Over the last year, countless women (strangers and friends) have reached out over the Internet and told me their story. In these cases, although I know there are men who are often abandoned as well, these ladies have stories that could reprint like carbon copies. It's as if you could swap out names for the leading lady in their very real drama, and the story would be the same.

"He's cheating."
"He's changed his mind."
"He doesn't want more kids now that he's seen how difficult raising one is."
"He promised to change, but he lied."
"He just walked out- no explanation."
"He doesn't want this- he's got an "addiction to women."

Now, we all know these problems run deep and this topic could stretch into a full book itself. But, where does that leave my sweet friends? Most of them have been forced into single motherhood because their husbands just don't want to honor their commitments.

It's hard being the listener in some of these situations. The "fairness queen" in me wants to hurl some biting insults at the offending spouse (although we know that would do nothing). I have wanted to tell my friends "You can do so much better, let God bring you someone else- just go quickly." Yet, as I have done this study God has shown me that I don't have much belief in His ability to change the spouses heart. It's hard, cause haven't we been taught, "Once a cheater, always a cheater?"

Every relationship I talk about is in a different phase of destruction. Some ladies I really feel in my heart have been forced to move forward, and I believe God will honor their right choices. Others, are in the deep throws of negotiations and arguments within their marriage, and although the friend in me says "you can do better," the belief tucked away in my heart knows that God can change hearts. No matter how stubborn we can be, God can change people. It's who He is. Heart-changing is the business He is in.

It is difficult as a Christian to face divorce. Especially, if you feel that you have done everything right, and have been deeply wronged. I have only lived this feeling through my friends in regards to marriage. Although, I completely understand what it's like to be mistreated in relationships, when you are kind and you get stabbed in the back. It happens every day in friendships, families, and business relationships alike. The sting of betrayal is a wound that runs deep, and I firmly believe that it is those wounds that only God can heal. I have been betrayed many times, and yet I have been freed emotionally and mentally from them over and over again. The Enemy wants you to think that you will never be free from your hurt, but God is mighty to save. He is more powerful than the situation that has been thrust upon you. I know many women whose marriages have been redeemed by the Lord, and I know many women that despite being abandoned have done awesome things in the Kingdom of God because they honored God with their commitments.

{"...For we are powerless before this great multitude who are coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on Thee."} 2 Chronicles 20:12

{Lord, meet these men and women who are hurting on the battlefield. They do not know what to do, but may their eyes be fixed on you. Lord, you are a God of redemption. The entire reason we will live with you in Heaven, is because of the redemptive story you set in place through your Son, Jesus. Redeem these marriages. Change the hearts of all parties involved; those who need to come to repentance and those must forgive unthinkable actions. Lord, make our marriages vessels of honor. Make our marriages new in Jesus' name. Amen}.

Day 12: Believing God and the Proof You Want

2011-10-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

The last two days have been hard for me. My feelings have wanted to carry me down paths of the past. Down roads of chronic illness, of hopelessness concerning my health, of pain- yet I have this hope in Jesus that has held me up. Sometimes, our feelings make it hard to believe. Do you think it's ironic that when I talked about believing in God's supernatural healing a few days ago, that I had two of the worst days in regards to my health? No. I do not believe that is a coincidence. I believe that the Enemy who has spent years stringing together a web of destructive thinking in our minds knows our weaknesses. He also wants the gospel we cling to to look foolish to those who don't believe in Christ. He also has a plan for our lives; it is a plan of destruction and death. He wants the name of God to be drenched in weakness instead of power. The Bible says that he goes before God and accuses us day and night.

{And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, "Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of Our God and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, who accuses them before our God day and night}.

Revelation 12:10

He may know where I am weak, but through Christ I am strong. I can stand on God's promises no matter how I feel and it's not just ritual. It's power. Some people want proof, but no matter what facts you give them, only God brings revelation. I was going to move into the subject of marriage today, but felt that God wanted me to show you what He showed me this morning.

{And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong}.

2 Corinthians 12:9 & 10

The proof we so desperately want, that God can take care of our needs, our loved ones, our health, our relationships, and our provision has already been provided. He sent Jesus to die for us and he did not remain in the grave. Can a dead man raise himself up? I sure can't. You can't. But, God can. And that is the foundational proof we must stand on no matter what we see or feel today.

{Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all everywhere should repent, because He has fixed a day in which He will judge the world in righteousness through a Man whom He has appointed, having furnished proof to all men by raising Him from the dead"}.

Acts 17:30 & 31

{X}pect that He is Mighty to Save

2011-10-13T12:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's hard to put belief into words. When I began to seek out scriptures on belief for today, I felt that no other story could tell it better than the Biblical account of Saul's conversion (who later is given the name Paul). Saul wanted nothing to do with Jesus Christ. His knowledge of the Law was great, but his heart was hardened to the notion that Christ was the Son of God.
Until the day that God intervened in his life in a dramatic way.

{Now Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest, and asked for letters from him to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any belonging to the Way, both men and women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. And it came about that as he journeyed, he was approaching Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him; and he fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?" And he said, "Who art Thou, Lord?" And He said, "I am Jesus whom you are persecuting, but rise, and enter the city, and it shall be told you what you must do." And the men who traveled with him stood speechless, hearing the voice, but seeing no one. And Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing; and leading him by the hand, they brought him into Damascus. And he was three days without sight, and neither ate nor drank"}. Acts 9:1-9

{You might know a Saul. You might be a Saul.}

I am praying for the "Saul's" in my life. I'm asking God that He bring truth to their hearts and minds. I am asking God to remove the scales of unbelief from their eyes so that they might see Jesus for who he is; the resurrected Son of God. Let's trust Him for the provision of salvation for our loved ones and to remove the shackels of unbelief off of us as well.

{"...Brother Saul, The Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road by which you were coming, has sent me so that you may regain your sight, and be filled with the Holy Spirit." And immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he regained his sight, and he arose and was baptized; and he took food and was strengthened. Now for several days he was with the disciples who were at Damascus, and immediately he began to proclaim Jesus in the synagogues, saying, "He is the Son of God"}.

Acts 9:17-20

Day 10: {X}pect God's Ability to Save

2011-10-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

The weakening of America, the volatility in the Middle East, massive Earthquakes, corrupt governments, devastating tsunamis and strange weather patterns...

...all point my mind to the second coming of Christ.

{And then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and then all the tribes on the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky with power and great glory. And He will send for His angels with a great trumpet and they will gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of the sky to the other}. Matthew 24:30 & 31

Although this is exciting for Christians, it is also scary. We all have people in our lives that do not acknowledge Jesus as their personal Lord. It breaks my heart. I am afraid for them. Unlike some popular opinion, I don't know any Christian who says "I want others to be like me." We know we are messes ourselves. We know that we are in desperate need of God. We are imperfect and sometimes that spills into our lives in such a way that harms our witness instead of helps it. Yet, at the end of the day- we are sinners saved by grace. We need Jesus for everything. When I was 20, I spent that year in a dark pit of depression and despair. I know that God allowed me to taste a small portion of the desperation that will be in Hell. Hell on Earth will not compare with the literal place God has prepared for Satan and the angels who rebelled against Him in the beginning of time. It's not meant for you and I, but God gives all of us free will. No matter what kind of life we have lived, salvation is offered to us freely. We can't earn it, manipulate it, or inherit it. It's a choice.

{For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not as a result of works that no one should boast}. Ephesians 2:8 & 9

To be quite honest, there are many in my life that I have prayed for for decades. My belief in their salvation has waned. I tend to shoulder the burden of the salvation of others on myself at times. I forget that it is God Himself that sends his Holy Spirit to draw people unto Himself. It is my job to pray. It is my job to encourage, to help equip, and to speak truth to those who God has asked me to help. This blog is my responsibility, a platform God has given me, to teach what the Bible says.

Several months ago, I blogged HERE about my grandmother. I had given up on her ability to be saved simply because she had lived her entire life as an unbeliever. Yet, God showed me that A) He was listening to our prayers B) It is never too late, no matter how long a spirit of unbelief has been present, and C) The Holy Spirit can break through years of unbelief. God draws us, digs up the layers of unbelief, and grows us so that our lives are good. So that we can be FREE...

If you feel comfortable, leave the name of someone you are praying over. I promise to pray over each name and let's believe God together for their salvation. Time is short and it is his desire that no one partakes in the wrath that was and is meant for Satan.

{The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish, but for all to come to repentence}. 2 Peter 3:9

Day 9: {X}pect True healing

2011-10-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

Last week, an atheist asked me "why I thought I was so special that I got the miracle while others died?" I had told him the story of God saving my life when I had the babies. He told me I should have thanked the doctors who saved my life, instead of a God that didn't exist. I told him that the doctors didn't save my life, although they did play a role, instead they told me there was no hope and to tell my husband and mother goodbye. Then, they knocked me out so I wouldn't know the difference; whether I lived or slipped away forever. I also told him that just because I got one miracle, didn't mean I always got "the miracle" he sarcastically referenced.

There is tragedy everywhere. I have tasted it. You have tasted it. But, I've also seen the unexplainable, supernatural miracles of a loving Heavenly Father. We will never know the answer to every "why" on this fallen planet. I don't think our minds could take the answers anyway. I have battled chronic illness for 10 years. I have asked hard questions. I have wept. I have received both instant healing for emotional and physical sickness, as well as help from doctors. In regards to my own suffering, I know at the end of the day, that I have a choice: to grow closer to God in it, or to reject truth because of it. This life is broken, and some of you are too. I am broken physically. But, I believe that my only source of hope and healing is found in a personal relationship with Christ. And despite a broken body, I am changed for the better because of my trials.

In the Bible, people literally chased Jesus just to touch Him. Once. One touch. They knew he could cast out demons with one word. They knew that He emanated the very Power of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. And because of this: they lowered sick friends through roofs, they begged His presence for their dead, and they chased the hem of his garment.

{We will never know the answer to every question, but we can always know that true healing begins and ends with Christ}.

{And when He had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to Him, entreating Him and saying "Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, suffering great pain. And He said to him, I will come and heal him. But the centurion answered and said, "Lord, I am not worthy for You to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed...And Jesus said to the centurion, "Go your way; let it be done to you as you have believed. And the servant was healed that very hour}. Matthew 8:5-8 & 13

{And when evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon-possessed; and He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were ill in order that what was spoken through Isaiah the prophet might be fulfilled, saying, "He Himself took our infirmities, and carried away our diseases."} Matthew 8:16 & 17

{And behold, a woman who had been suffering from a hemorrhage for twelve years, came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His cloak; for she was saying to herself, "If I only touch His garment, I shall get well. But Jesus turning and seeing her said, "Daughter, take courage; your faith has made you well." And at once the woman was made well."} Matthew 9:20-23

{And after He had come into the house, the blind men came up to Him, and Jesus said to them, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" They said to Him, "Yes Lord." Then He touched their eyes, saying "Be it done to you according to your faith."} Matthew 9:28 & 29

{And great multitudes came to Him, bringing with them those who were lame, crippled, blind, dumb, and many others, and they laid them down at His feet; and He healed them, so that the multitude marveled as they saw the dumb speaking, the crippled restored, and the lame walking, and the blind seeing, and they glorified the God of Israel}. Matthew 15:30 & 31

{Dear Heavenly Father, we come to You today asking for more of You. If we have not treated our bodies with proper care, forgive us. Give us a new way of thinking and acting in regards to caring for the bodies you have blessed us with. Lord, where there is disease in our body, I ask in Jesus name that You, in Your power, will remove it today. Your word says that "by your wounds we are healed" according to 1 Peter 2:24. Lord, on days that we have more questions than answers, let us not sin in unbelief. Help us to overcome our feelings in the face of such tragic pain. Grow our confidence in You, Jehovah Rapha, our Healer. We believe that You alone are the source of our healing. Change us Lord from the inside out. Let no weapon formed against our mind or body be able to prosper according to Isaiah 54:17. In Jesus name. Amen}.

Day 8: Supernatural Healing

2011-10-10T08:24:00.000-07:00

I closed my mind to the notion of healing. I had been sick for too long. I grew up healthy. I ate what I wanted, exercised painlessly, and excelled in athletics. Then, I got on birth control. Then, everything changed. The last 10 years of my life have been a confusing puzzle with droves of doctors and family members trying to figure out what happened. For me, delayed diagnosis only led my body down a worsening path. Out of control hormones, Endometriosis, adrenal fatigue, food allergies, low thyroid, and a bad gallbladder all worked together like one enormous, silent cancer. No, I didn't have cancer, but it felt like it. I had every symptom of colon cancer, but every test would come back negative.

I knew Jesus could heal me. I just didn't know how to take hold of his healing. I thought a lot about the story of the disciples when they couldn't cast out the demon. They asked Jesus why and he said they couldn't cast it out because they lacked faith. So, where did that leave me? I would try to declare louder, think better, and try to grab at healing; cause I was desperate. But, still, I would remain sick. I would read about people that had received supernatural healing and I was jealous. Why was it theirs and not mine? Why did some people get a miracle and others died?

When we ask "why" we can go down a very slippery slope of unbelief. Yet, I believe that asking why is actually a great part of "working out our salvation." There's nothing wrong with asking God questions. He can take them. It's when I didn't get the immediate answer of healing, when I allowed myself to quit believing it was possible. Luke 1:37 says {Nothing is impossible with God}.

Chronic illness is one of the greatest faith challenges I have faced. It has also brought me closer to the Lord than any single event in my life. God didn't promise us a painless life, but He did promise to never leave us. I know that chronic illness or dealing with illness can be one of the hardest battles against our feelings. Why?

{Because we often allow our feelings to dictate our beliefs, rather than allow our beliefs to dictate our feelings}.

Believing in healing and facing chronic illness can often feel like automatic defeat, but I refuse to believe this lie from the Enemy. Do we not serve a God who healed all kinds of diseases? Do we not serve a God who raised Lazarus from the dead? Man would say "It is impossible to breathe life into a dead corpse!" But, not only did Jesus raise men from the dead through God's power, but He Himself was raised by His Father in Heaven.

My mom once saw a man's leg grow an entire foot while a body of believers prayed for him. His limbs were not even when he came in, but when he left; he was healed.

{I have told you this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows But take heart, because I have overcome the world.}. John 16:33

Finances: Scriptures to Stand On

2011-10-08T21:55:00.000-07:00

{I love those who love me; And those who diligently seek me will find me. Riches and honor are with me, Enduring wealth and righteousness. My fruit is better than gold, even pure gold. And my yield than choicest silver. I walk in the way of righteousness, In the midst of the paths of justice, To endow those who love me with wealth, that I may fill their treasuries.}. Proverbs 8:17-21

{A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous}. Proverbs 13:22

{And I will give you the treasures of darkness, And wealth of secret places, In order that you may know that it is I, The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by name}. Isaiah 45:3

{Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body, And refreshment to your bones. Honor the Lord from your wealth, And from the first of all your produce; So your barns will be filled with plenty, And your vats will overflow with new wine}. Proverbs 3:5-10

{Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open for you the windows of heaven, and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows. Then, I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it may not destroy the fruits of the ground; nor will your vine in the field cast its grapes, says the Lord of hosts}. Malachi 3:10-11

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: Your Finances

2011-10-08T06:40:00.000-07:00

Money.

For some of us, just the word takes our minds immediately to a place of hopelessness, worry, and doubt. Robb and I spent a small fortune on infertility treatments. The doctors told us we had a very small chance of even having twins. Matter of fact, they thought we would be "lucky to get just one baby" even with their assistance. My ovaries had quit functioning after I took birth control for a year during our first year of marriage.

So, when we got pregnant with quads, I was overwhelmed with the thought of caring for that many babies. It just never added up. I had to go on bedrest, which meant my job was no more. I stashed about $5,000 into savings {which by my estimation would last us about 90 days after the kids were born}. Yet, the story I want to tell brings us forward 3 years. You can read more about God's provision in our early years in October's issue of The P31 Woman Magazine called, "Expect God's Radical Provision."

My kids were 3 1/2 and we lived in a perpetual state of "So, God, how's it going to work this month?" We were literally forced to depend on His provision each month (we still are). I don't know about you, but I hate to be insecure. In all honestly...dependence bugs me. It goes against every fiber of my natural instincts and personality. I'm independent. I always have been. God has always provided for us in one of two ways:

1. Provision through the kindness of others.
2. Supernatural provision directly from him.

I went back to work when the triplets were 2 years old. I had to. My stash was gone and I had used our last cent of tax return money. My health was horrible and I couldn't go to work for anyone else. I knew that I would get fired for too many sick days, so I started my own business. The only thing I knew how to do was sell promotional products {a job I had done right after college for 2 years}, so Kirkland Apparel Company was born.

This particular month was slow. And this month I needed to... personally contribute about $800 just to scrape by. Usually, the number was closer to $1500, but I had gotten some breaks the previous month. It just wasn't going to happen that month. It was the end of the month and I was overwhelmed. Despite everything we had been given, we could not pay our bills without that money. I worried as I entered Wal-Mart to spend another small fortune on the basics.

As I got up to the register, I saw a young girl in her twenties possibly. She never looked at me, never spoke. And as clear as I've ever heard the Lord speak, I heard Him say "Prove to her that you are different." I had know idea what He meant. After many minutes of struggling and wondering, I realized God wanted me to give this girl money--the one thing I didn't have to give. A million questions went through my mind as I wrestled with A)how embarrassed this act was going to make me as the line piled up behind us B)how the girl would react as I handed her money C)how crazy this felt when I needed to make money not give it away.

But, God wouldn't leave me alone. You can read the full story HERE and HERE.

Needless to say, I gave the girl the money. It made no sense. It was awkward. When I climbed in the car, I cried. I knew she might have needed it way more than I did. I cried because I was overwhelmed, because I hated being so dependent and having each month be so financially uncertain. But, once I got outside, a voicemail rang in from one of my biggest customers. He usually bought from me only once a year, but he was placing a random order. The order itself would cover everything I needed in bills for the month plus some extra. I cried some more. God always knew everything I needed. He was never late. My worst nightmare has never come true after 5 years. He keeps providing. Provision is no big deal for God. It was a big deal for me. After 5 years of this roller coaster, I see that, as He has provided, He has taught me dependence.

What are you believing God for today? Let's pray for provision together.

{Lord, you see our every need. You know that we need money to pay our bills, buy food, and other things necessary to survive. Lord, when the Israelites were wandering in the wilderness, you fed them with bread from Heaven. When Elijah needed food in the wilderness, you brought ravens to feed him. You are Jehovah-Jireh - the Lord our Provider. Thank you for meeting every need in our lives through Christ Jesus. Where we lack faith in Your provision, forgive us, and set us free from unbelief. In Jesus name Amen.}

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: Setting your Pillars

2011-10-07T03:00:00.000-07:00

As I prayed over this particular day in the study, I felt that God gave me something unexpected to discuss. God brought me to the story of Lot and the city of Sodom and Gomorrah. It was a surprising direction, but when I read through the story, I understood.

If you truly want to be free from unbelief concerning a particular area in your life, you can't look back.

{Looking back on past outcomes erodes our ability to believe in a good future}.

"Lot reached the village just as the sun was rising over the horizon. Then the Lord rained down fire and burning sulfur from the sky on Sodom and Gomorrah. He utterly destroyed them, along with the other cities and villages of the plain, wiping out all the people and every bit of vegetation. But Lot's wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt." Genesis 19:23-26

More importantly, when God Himself tells us not to look back, then we must have the sense to listen. Looking back paralyzes us. It changes us. It causes us to judge our circumstances by what we see with physical eyes instead of eyes of faith. My commentary says that "the verb 'looked back' indicates prolonged, intense gazing toward the world she loved, not a curious glance. Lot's wife was too attached to Sodom to follow God's call of grace, so she was included in the judgment as she lingered on the valley slopes."

{When we linger on the slopes of unbelief, we linger in sin}.

As we set the pillars for our new foundation, let's begin by leaving the past behind us and pressing on towards the goal. Let's write these verses on the tablets of our hearts. Let's set them as our pillars of faith so that we can begin to {X}pect God's radical provision.

{What do you mean, 'If I can? Jesus asked. Anything is possible if a person believes. The father instantly cried out, I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!} Mark 9:23 & 24

{I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength to do his work. He considered me trustworthy and appointed me to serve him, even though I used to blaspheme the name of Christ. In my insolence, I persecuted his people. But God had mercy on me because I did it in ignorance and unbelief}. 1 Timothy 12 & 13

{And they were deeply offended and refused to believe in him. Then Jesus told them, A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his own family. And so he did only a few miracles there because of their unbelief}. Matthew 13:57 & 58

{No, dear brothers and sister, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us}. Philippians 3:13 & 14

{Afterward the disciples asked Jesus privately, 'Why couldn't we cast out that demon?' You don't have enough faith, Jesus told them. I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain ' Move from here to there' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible}. Matthew 7:19 & 20

{Lord, despite what we see, we trust in Your supernatural ability to intervene in our lives. Your promises never fail and today we take you at Your word. Help us overcome our unbelief so that we might say to our mountains; move! Your word says nothing is impossible with God according to Luke 1:37. Let us not limit your miracle of provision in our lives. You are Jehovah-Jireh- the Lord our Provider. In Jesus name amen}.

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: The Sands of Unbelief

2011-10-06T03:00:00.000-07:00

If you feel like you're sinking in the sands of unbelief....

maybe you are.

But, maybe the solution...

...isn't as complicated as you think.

Each week, I invite people to make their hearts at home in my little corner of the Internet.

Unbelief actually does the same to us. Yet, it's no guest that's welcome in my home.

Sometimes we try to sweep unbelief out the door only to have it shortly return. We feel defeated. We beat ourselves up. We know how we should think and behave. We know we serve a big God, but sometimes His power seems just out of reach.

Listen to what Matthew 12:43-45 says:

"When an evil spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert, seeking rest but finding none. Then it says, 'I will return to the person I came from.' So it returns and finds its former home empty, swept, and in order. Then the spirit finds seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they all enter the person and live there. And so that person is worse off than before...."

If Christ lives within you, you cannot be "posessed" by an evil spirit, but you can be "oppressed" by the Enemy.

Sometimes we feel like we've cleaned house, but our peace is short-lived. Why do we, who serve a God that raises people from the dead, have such little faith at times?

{Foundation}

We have built houses on sand.

The only way to build spiritual homes that can withstand tragedy, loss, sickness, and the trials of this world is to build a firm foundation.

Belief is built by learning God's word.

His word is power. The Bible is one big book of promises that God cannot, will not, and does not break. How can we begin to stand on His promises if we don't even know them?

Maybe you thought your house was firmly planted. But, the rain came, the floodwaters rose, and the winds beat against the house, and your house of belief--collapsed with a mighty crash.

{Based on Matthew 7:24-27}

It's time to rebuild our belief through the word of God.

Construction begins tomorrow.

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: Willing to Repair the Breach

2011-10-05T08:13:00.000-07:00

I have been a Christian for 24 years and still struggle with unbelief. Although I know that salvation is instant, when we ask Christ to be our Lord and Savior, becoming Christ-like is a process. We cannot forget that Christ saves sinners, not perfect people.

"You were dead because of your sins because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins." Colossians 2:13

So, what does God want for us to do? How do we begin to truly trust in His radical provision when our circumstances seem so overwhelming?

First, we must be willing to repair the breach.

Sometimes we willingly open the door to unbelief through sin. Sometimes it sneaks up on us due to tragedy or hardship. It doesn't matter how unbelief makes its' home in your mind, we have to be willing to uproot unbelief and repair the breach.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is that of Nehemiah. To some people, Nehemiah simply built a wall. To others, he was Jerusalem's hero. Nehemiah is known for his leadership skills, yet when I think about Nehemiah--I see a man willing to trade personal comfort in order to obey God. Nehemiah literally grieved when he heard that Jerusalem's walls were burned to the ground and they were susceptible to attack. So much so, that he asked the King if he could leave the palace to go repair the breach. {Nehemiah 1}

When you seek freedom from the strongholds in your mind, the Enemy will step up his game. But, it's simply a scare tactic to keep you from moving forward in your walk with Christ. We often waste time riding the fence of indecision. It is God's will and desire that we be free in Christ; that we enjoy the abundant life He purchased for us on the cross. I believe in both supernatural deliverance and deliverance through obedience. God has used both ways to deliver me from sickness, irrational thoughts, fear, and unbelief. Obedience can be hard, but it cannot be ignored.

Last year, I felt that God was commanding me to go deeper in His word. My effort to memorize scripture was lacking and I knew it. He gently called and I rode the fence. Then, one day He gave me this verse, and it finally woke me up to the seriousness of His instruction:

{If you love me, obey my commandments.} John 14:15

Are you willing to do the work to repair the breach? Are you willing to take back the ground Satan has stolen from you?

God simply wants your "yes."

Finding your personal {X} factor

2011-10-04T06:05:00.000-07:00

If you are like me, you won't have to look far to find your personal {X} factor. It's hard to forget what seems to have you chained mind, body, and spirit. In 2002, I got married. I was a newlywed with a wonderful husband, a new place to live, and everything should have been perfect. Yet, I found myself in a pit of despair. Depression became my new friend. The me I had once known, was lost and I didn't know why. My circumstances were actually everything I had ever wanted, but no matter how much I willed the depression to leave, it felt stuck to me. I was in torment emotionally, spiritually, and physically. After an entire year, I realized the birth control pills I had started taking right before my wedding were the culprit behind my depression. I chunked the pills in the trash and the fog lifted within 24 hours.Here are some of the statements that I spoke over my situation at the time:

I will never be who I was; I am going to be tortured forever.
I must have offended God, because it feels like He's abandoned me.
I'll never be normal again.
I used to be so happy; what happened to me?

My thoughts were normal for someone dealing with depression, but can you see the rotten foundation they were based on?

{FEELINGS}

Every thought, statement, or belief I had that year was in some way linked to how I felt in that moment in time. Everything I had believed to be true about Jesus, whom I had known since I was six-years-old, quickly dissolved into unbelief because of how I felt.

And I felt broken.

I knew spiritual warfare. I technically knew everything I should do, but I couldn't see light in my dark tunnel. Every day, I poured over my Bible and spoke truth over my situation, however, when the fog didn't lift immediately; I began to believe the feelings over the truth.

I believed that God's character was tied to how I felt, instead of who He actually was--mighty to save.

During that year, God showed me just how quickly we can move from right thinking to depravity. Yes, I had a chemical/physical imbalance hindering my ability to reason and think, but God allowed me to see just how fragile our minds are. He showed me some of the ways the Enemy manipulates His truth and turns His character and Word into lies within our minds.

{X} factors are often found in "if only" statements, "but God" sentences, or the "why God's" of our lives. Simply put: They are all the reasons you tell yourself that you will never have God's best.

Because of {X}, I will never have a good marriage.
If only I had {X} amount of money, then we wouldn't have to live paycheck-to-paycheck.
I will be happy when {X} finally accepts me.
If God would not have allowed {X} to happen, then my life would be so different.

So, what variable or circumstance keeps you bound to unbelief today? Maybe it's feelings such as fear, loneliness, or anxiety. Maybe it's a personal tragedy that you cannot get past. Maybe it's people in your life; an unbelieving spouse, a child that has gone away from Christ, or someone that just doesn't like you. Maybe it's a physical problem; cancer, chronic-illness, or a struggle with your weight.

Maybe you see yourself in every example I named. Breathe. We serve a BIG God.

Before you kick unbelief in the pants and send it on its' way, you need to be honest with God about your unbelief. We must confess it as sin, and hand it over to God for transformation. If you don't know exactly, ask God to reveal to you areas of unbelief in your thinking. It might feel stuck to you now, but "He whom the Son sets free, is free indeed!" John 8:36

{Lord, forgive me for my unbelief. Show me how to have true faith; believing in the unseen, despite my circumstances. Your word says that what I say flows from what is in my heart (Luke 6:45b). Change my heart. Where I have spoken death over my situation; forgive me. Transform my thinking today so that I will not be separated from You because of unbelief. Examine my heart, and if I don't recognize my own unbelief, gently show me, and lead me to repentence. You know what is in the darkness, because the light dwells with you (Daniel 2:22). In Jesus Name, set us free from unbelief today}.

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: 21 day belief bootcamp

2011-10-03T07:53:00.000-07:00

Everyone has an {X}factor. Your {X} is probably different than mine, but you still have one. It's the proverbial "but God." It's the variable that always manages to mess up the equation to a painless life. It is the roadblock in front of where you thought you were going. It's the broken record that spins and sews a web of destructive thinking in your mind.

Since my triplets were born in 2006, one of my {X}'s has been our finances. Fear of the unknown took hold of me and I began to worry immensely about a "lack" of money. I had to quit my job to go on strict bed rest when I was in my 4th month. My husband and I had just purchased and remodeled a new home. We fully expected this would occur with the help of two incomes. I never in my wildest imagined that I would be pregnant with triplets, much less about to be dependent on one income. We were bringing three babies into the world at once, and my mind screamed "ONE INCOME?!?!?!? WE NEED MORE LIKE FIVE?!?!?!?!?" Breathe I tried. However, the broken record...just...kept...spinning.

"Bed rest means no job.

No job means we can't pay our mortgage.

This means we can't live in our newly remodeled home.

How am I going to rock three babies?

Our house is too small,

We need triple everything...

...diapers,

...cribs,

...onesies,

...car seats,

...m-o-n-e-y."

My {X}factor paralyzed me. It stole from me and ate away at the joy of becoming a mom.

I wish I could say that after much prayer {and there was much...much...much prayer}--God completely removed this burden from my life, but He didn't. However, He did something much better. Instead of taking away the emotional stress of provision, He set up my circumstances so that I had to depend on Him for everything.

God showed me that His character does not change when the landscape of our circumstance does.

He is El Roi--the God who sees. The God who sees straight into the recesses of your mind and hears your worry, your doubt, your unbelief, and your {X}.

When life piles up and things just don't add up, God can solve the equation.

For the next 21 days, I pray that you are strengthened inside. I pray that the big unknown variable in your life, whether it be finances, a relationship, an illness, your marriage, or basic unbelief will not be a factor for you anymore. There have been times when God has removed the mountains in my life, but most of the time, instead, He chose to show me how to conquer the obstacles that stood in the way.

Let's take back our belief in a GOOD God that still does miracles.

Let's {X}pect God's radical provision together.

T is for...

2011-09-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

typical?

OR NOT...

NOT AT ALL!

When people "un-friend" you

2011-09-26T11:15:00.000-07:00

The other day, a friend of mine, "un-friended" me on Facebook. It hurt. This friend is dear to me, and I did nothing to warrant his "un-friending." Matter of fact, I love this friend. But, he, like so many people on this planet, became numb by tragedy. The death of a father ended in the loss of a son. He still lives in the flesh, but he's angry at God. I have spent truly a lifetime trying to help this friend. I have been a shoulder for him when his dad died. I have comforted him, and gently answered his questions about faith and life and God. I have counseled him through thoughts of suicide, worthlessness, and severe depression. I have tried to show Him the God that I know personally. I have cried for him. I've been on my knees for him. I have wanted to stuff truth into his heart and mind, because I don't want Him to know the despair that is Hell. Please don't think for a second that I have shoved the gospel down his throat. I don't shove. Christ doesn't shove. He gently loves us and gives us each a choice to believe or go another way.

So many people think that Christians stand in judgement over their lives and they never give Christ a chance to show them the truth about salvation. And I understand why some people get the wrong idea. I have been burned by Christians myself. I have felt the sting of rejection from people that I thought would love me as Christ has loved them. But, don't let humanity stand in between you and a loving relationship with a perfect God. See, I am not perfect. Christians are not perfect. But, Christ was. He wants a relationship with you.

If I could stuff that truth into your heart, I would do it. But, I can only tell you who God is to me. I can tell you how he saved my life, how He delivered me from death. I can tell you about each answered prayer, some answered when I never uttered a word out loud. I can tell you about every dream that He has put within me (even when they seemed crazy at the time) and show you how He has caused them to surface over time. Yet, at the end of the day, I can only speak for me. I will stand in my own shoes when He returns and you will stand in yours.

"...On the day when, according to my gospel, "God will judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus." Romans 2: 16

Did you hear that?

Through.

Jesus.

Christ.

"What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture, and go after the one which is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost! I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance." Luke 15:4-7

It is through a relationship with Jesus Christ that you become God's child. Let Him in. What do you have to lose? You can "un-friend" God, but He will never "un-friend" you.

I remember

2011-09-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

Do you? I remember the day I gave my life to Christ. I was six. I remember being very burdened at the thought of my sin, of being separated from a God who wanted a relationship with me. I was in awe of Heaven and the Master-plan I saw behind it all, behind existence and my own life.

It just made such sense.

I could look down at my six-year-old body and think, "This makes sense." Look at my body. Everything moves, grows, and is wired unlike any man-made contraption or device. The ability to see, the ability to think, all of the "behind-the-scenes" things that happen in our bodies every single day.

I understood.
At six.

I have been a little weather bug since I was a child. I could look around at the Earth and think, "This makes sense." Look at the ocean how it stops and doesn't just keep coming. It has boundaries. Look at all the animals, how there is order among them, yet just as the Bible stories said "Man is above them in dominance." Look at the weather, how storms build and grow and shower us. I could see power in tornadoes and hurricanes and know that Someone designed this place. Someone designed me.

Do you know what that means? It doesn't mean that I was a genius six-year-old. No, I was plain. Awkwardly tall, average, with above average feet actually. I was scared of things, like many children are. My feelings got hurt on the playground, I colored pictures for my teacher. I had imaginary friends and pretended I was Elizabeth Taylor in National Velvet riding "The Pie."

I was a child.
I remember.

So, what does it mean? It means that a Holy God, looks down and scans the Earth and sends forth His Holy Spirit to reveal the things which we do not know. It means He takes time. It means He wants to know us personally. It means that we can look around us and know that God exists.

"For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature. So, they have no excuse for not knowing God. Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn't worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools. And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles." Romans 1: 20-23

Just to know that He exists is not enough. The devil knows God exists. He just doesn't worship Him, doesn't obey Him, and seeks to blind us from the truth. Knowing God comes through a personal relationship with Christ. I believe that Christ is coming back very soon for His children. And it is my deepest desire that you don't miss Him. Do you remember? If you can't think back to a time when you know that Christ set you free through salvation. I pray that today is the day of remembrance for you.

Learning to break the rules

2011-09-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

I run my fingers over the keyboard seeking inspiration. It wanes. Some days the words seem stuck and I trip over my own need to connect with God the way I desperately want others to connect with Him.

God's been showing me that when I can't plug in to Him like I want, it's usually because I've put some kind of rule on myself. Rules that He hasn't even put on me. These rules are impenetrable walls of concrete. They erect themselves between me and grace. They are a impassable chasms that keep His mercy from entering in. They keep us under the law when we are under grace.

Is anyone else like this? The pharisees were this way. The Son of God walked among them and yet they missed Him because of their rules. Their rules would lead them down a path of death. Too smart to live. Too foolish to recognize. Too bound by their rules to receive salvation. Could it be possible that the God of the universe is teaching me to break the rules?

Jesus was a rule-breaker. He dined with tax collectors, healed people on the Sabbath, talked with prostitutes, and broke societal norms.

And they killed Him for it.

I'm learning to break the rules a little more each day. And by the grace of God, this kind of rule-breaking is making me look more like Christ.

Will you break the rules with me today?

Bowls of Mercy

2011-09-06T20:09:00.000-07:00

It always amazes me how I can miss the work of God in my life. Even when I search daily for His presence, His activity, and His purpose, sometimes, I just miss it. It stares boldly back at me in black and white, yet I can't receive it for all the worry and spinning and toiling. I often stuff my mind full with questions about His movement.

The how's...the when's...the why's that sometimes never get answered.

In my pondering, God continues to lead me to Gideon.

See, Gideon was raw with honesty. When the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said, "The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior. Gideon said to him, "Oh my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all His miracles which our fathers told us about saying, "Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?"..."And the Lord looked at him and said, "Go in this your strength and deliver Israel from the hand of Midian. Have I not sent you?" Judges 6:12,13a, & 14

Don't you just love his humanity? It's not that he didn't believe in the Lord. He knew the miracle stories passed to him, generation to generation. But, Gideon didn't believe in Gideon. And God is like: Gideon, I've got you. This is G-O-D you are talking to.

And Gideon continues to doubt the call of God on his life...

"And he said to Him, "O Lord, how shall I deliver Israel? Behold, my family is the least in Manasseh and I am the youngest in my father's house." verse 15

Later on, Gideon is still not convinced. He asks God, "If Thou wilt deliver Israel through me, as Thou has spoken, behold I will put a fleece of wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew on the fleece only, and it is dry on all the ground, then I will know that Thou wilt deliver Israel through me, as Thou has spoken." And it was so. When he arose early the next morning and squeezed the fleece, he drained the dew from the fleece, a bowl full of water."

verses 36-38

And still Gideon doubted.

You know why I love Gideon so much?

am.

Gideon.

I make up rules. I complicate God's free gift of grace and love. I am blinded by the rules of man, the workings of our culture, the hierarchy of our society.

Yet, through every doubt and burning question I so desperately want God to use me, but I question if I'm enough. If God can be enough in me. I know the stories. Don't we all know that our God parted seas, raised the dead, and turned water into wine? Yet, sometimes it's easier for us to believe in those big miracles than to believe that God wants us. That He might choose to take our foolishness and our biggest failures in life and make them living examples of the radical love and saving grace of Christ Jesus.

Sometimes I can't see what's right in front of my face. That Christ is enough. That my fleece is full already. An entire bowl full of mercy. That He only needs my willingness. He only needs my "yes." And when you can believe that Christ only needs your yes, you'll see your bowl overflowing. You'll see life in an entirely new light.

The gift of Free

2011-09-01T07:01:00.000-07:00

On Monday, over 2,200 people downloaded, The Sounds of Night, for free. You know what was most amazing about that? Most of the downloads were from countries that don't have the religious freedom we have here in the United States. Think of just how free we are. Let it soak in.

May we remember all the men and women that work each day to allow us to write blogs, speak our minds, attend church, and BELIEVE. See, the power of free goes beyond giveaways and book downloads. It has a point of origination in time. It soaks through as the color RED. It spills and floods hearts and minds that allow it to reside there. Freedom is only found through Christ and it links us straight to God Himself.

Do you struggle with belief? Is it hard for you to get Christ's infinite love tucked in your mind and heart? I struggle some days too. Sometimes it's hard to look at my imperfections and see myself through the RED. Yet, it doesn't change the reality that I'm covered in God's grace because Christ is my Lord. My doubt is covered. Your doubt is covered in grace...in spilled blood. The disciples were filled with doubt. The very men that God chose, the 12 imperfect men, that Jesus appointed to carry the gospel through the ages, were doubters. They struggled with the notion of free. They struggled with receiving the power of Christ.

See, what Jesus said to Thomas in John 14:5-7: "Thomas said to Him, "Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?" Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me. If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; from now on you know Him, and have seen Him." The gift of free. It starts in Christ. I pray that you will take your free gift and tuck it inside today.

The View from Here

2011-08-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

...is a mixed bag.

I have a love/hate relationship for this new season of life.

These "babies" are growing up.

They are off to Kindergarten!

We've met the teacher. I'm sure she's braced herself. LOL

It's going to be a great year and the triplets are so excited.

I am one proud (and sad) mama!

Baby A

Baby B

Baby C

And they're off to do just that; learn the A,B,C's of Kindergarten!

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old; he will not depart from it."

Proverbs 22:6

Just Keep Holding On

2011-08-21T20:37:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why. But, today I could feel my insides convulsing. Worse than a "normal day." I'm taking seizure medication now and it's been helping tremendously, but today was one of those days. I don't know how to describe what an internal seizure feels like. The best way I could tell you is: you feel like all your organs are going to fall out. I've had some pain today that also felt very similar to adhesion/Endometriosis pain. My last surgery was in February and I DO NOT want to have surgery again. Please just pray for me that they won't grow back and the seizure medication continues to do it's job. In the mean time, I just keep holding on.

Just Do It

2011-08-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

I've had writer's block. And it's been bugging me. I've been wondering why the words just won't flow. Why my post ideas are just that...ideas. Not sentences. Not paragraphs. Not posts. And it's been bugging me.

Then, I remember. I remember that I forgot. I forgot that I made a promise. And I promised myself I wouldn't forget to be obedient. And apparently, I forgot my promise. I promised God something. I told him I would obey what He told me to do. And I haven't done it.

Sometimes our lack of obedience seems so silly when it's finally written down. Cursors blink like little warning signals that maybe something is off within us. I tend to look everywhere else for my lost joy first before I say, "Ahh, maybe I'm not right with God." Yet, sometimes despite the warnings, we just bulldoze our way right past God's instruction. Then, we wonder why we can't focus, can't move, why we feel blocked in life.

I so easily forget- not sure how- but I do. I forget that God can't be associated with my sin. Oh, He loves me and He loves you- but He hates our sin. And everytime He tells us to do something, and we just don't; then it is us who have made a choice to step outside of His favor. It's hard to see that face staring back at me in the mirror. The good news?

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.." 1 John 1:9

What has he told you to do tonight? Has he told you to forgive? To start attending church? To change your eating habits? To spend more time with your family? To honor your husband or your wife? If we truly trust Him, and we know His will is best and perfect, then why not just do it.

Decades

2011-08-14T11:12:00.001-07:00

*My 30th birthday is in a month and 2 days. I thought I would take a look back at my heart as I approached my 29th last year.*

My twenty-ninth birthday is approaching. In another year, I will wrap up an entire decade of my life. There is something eerily unsettling and final about looking back on a decade of your life. I never wanted to be a teacher, but I find myself wanting a grade. I know how I would grade myself (never give a perfectionist a red pen). I might give myself an A for effort, and it would probably be down hill from there. Yet, lately, I wonder how God sees this decade? When I look back through my twenties the road is marked with change. Wow. What a decade. I went to college okay I really went to three colleges. I married. I have lived in six cities to date. I have had eight anniversaries. I have three children that are all the same age. I got a degree. Chose a career. Started a business. I had labels given to me in my teenage years ripped off and new ones stuck on. I have gained friendships and lost friendships. My twenties have been wild. Wildly hard. Wildly joyful. Wildly beautiful and scary. This decade has been just like that hour glass; sometimes I viewed it as empty other times overflowing with joy and contentment. Mingled in with those hard times have been some of the biggest spiritual revelations of my twenty-two years of knowing Jesus. Even though painful times beg to brand our memories, overshadowing the joy and triumph in life, I would not trade them or wish them away. It is in those times that I got to know Jesus more intimately. Before my twenties, my relationship with Christ lacked depth. In my twenties, His character came alive and He became my best friend. He has been my...

Savior: He saved me from death.

Healer: He healed me from sickness.

Deliverer: He delivered me from darkness.

Counselor: He instructed me in the way I should go.

Friend: He was there, when others did not understand.

This decade has made an impression. The good news? No matter how we view ourselves, failures and successes alike, God loves us. God does not wait with a red pen to mark up the pages of our lives. He only cares about one kind of red and one kind of footprint. Do we know His Son? Are the pages of our lives covered in the red blood of Jesus? Are our pages redeemed? Are the footprints merely our own or has our sand been littered by the footsteps of Jesus? Nothing else really matters. Weeks turn to months, months turn to years, and eventually we wrap up decades. We chase dreams, chase people, chase goals, and through all that God is chasing us. He wants to redeem the bad and turn it to good. So, put your red pen down. Open your eyes and look back at your life. No matter what grades you have given yourself, God has but one grade: Have you accepted His Son, Jesus, as Lord of your life?

"If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation." Romans 10:9-10

33

2011-08-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

He died young. Wasn't buried in satin, but laid in a tomb instead. Hardly fitting for a King, but God ordained. It wasn't a sharp knife, but spikes driven through His hands. And we'll be wearing white one day. I've had enough time to taste His love to know that Heaven will be sweet. Thirty-three years. It was just enough time for you and I so that we could receive Him into our hearts. So we could be safe under His wings - the sprinkling of Christ's blood- showered on each of us that simply ask for forgiveness. It was the exact amount of days, of breath, and love to accomplish the will of His Father.

"Then a white robe was given to each of them. And they were told to rest a little longer until the full number of their brothers and sisters--their fellow servants of Jesus who were to be martyred--had joined them." Revelation 6:11

The Adventure of a Lifetime

2011-08-07T20:44:00.000-07:00

"I want to go on adventure!" my nephew says enthusiastically. By the twinkle in his eye, we know he means it. He is ready to go somewhere, do something, and I believe he would go anywhere his nearly 3-year-old legs would take him ~~that is if his mommy weren't watching~~ in order to do just that.

I wonder tonight, how many of you are ready to go on an adventure with God? I have to be honest here, I sense God telling me, "I want to take you, Jessica, on an adventure!" But, as sure as I am that He wants to take me on an adventure, there is something else He wants me to do so that I am ready for what He has for me. For once, I'm not spilling it over the www, but could I ask that you pray for me? Pray that I will be disciplined in His word, discerning, and obedient to the task He has called me to do. I know I have to be obedient. I know that God wants me properly prepared for the good plans He has fashioned for my life even before I was born.

So, what about you? Is God asking you to take His hand? If you don't have Christ in your heart, then a simple YES! to God is all you need to start your adventure. My adventure began at six years old when I realized that I needed Christ to be Lord of my life. I needed Him to wash away my sins, because even at six years old, I felt the weight of sin dragging me down. Maybe you already know the Lord, but like me, He's instructing you to be obedient before your adventure can begin. Maybe you are suppose to give something up? Reconcile with a family member? Start attending church? Forgive your spouse? Get out of an unhealthy relationship? Maybe you don't know what God wants you to do next. Ask Him.

Tell Him, "Father, don't let the sun go down until you have spoken to my heart. Your word says that where there is no vision, the people perish." Proverbs 29:18a He hears the prayers of His children. His arm is not so short that it cannot save. I promise that wherever He leads, it will be the adventure of a lifetime.

Whose side are you on?

2011-08-04T21:09:00.000-07:00

She says to me, "Well I guess I deserve it, I knew he was like this when I married him" and my heart sinks. No, you didn't sign up to be the equivalent of a single mother while your husband does as he pleases. You didn't sign up to bear the burden of household duties, financial strains, and the difficult job of being "mom." You signed up for marriage because you loved a man that made you a promise. She deserves a Godly man that fulfills the vows He made to a holy God.

She says to me, "He told me that he doesn't want to be with me" and my fist clenches. And I just don't understand why. Cause she's a great mother, a Godly woman, with a heart of gold. And he has no idea what he will miss if he chooses to go.

She says to me, "My husband won't quit partying and he's hanging around bad influences" and I breathe in deep. Cause grown men raising teenagers can't raise them well if they themselves are acting like one. She is grasping at his love and he strays further with each swipe. And I just can't fathom the reason. Cause she has sacrificed her time and her body, she has determined to raise children like her mother taught her. She does it well, but he gives her no compliments just grief.

Christian marriages under attack.

These emails, phone calls, Facebook messages keep pouring in to me. Strangers reach out, friends call with bad news, people hear that I will pray for them. And I feel weak. Weak to hold their burdens, but urgent to lift their hurt up to the only One who can truly change their situation. If this is you, I want you to know that God Himself will fight for you.

At the conference I attended last week, Lisa Terkeurst was recounting the fall of Jericho found in Joshua 5:13-15. She said something that has answered a question that has burned inside of me whenever I'm in conflict with another Christian. See, I always want to know: "God, whose side are you on? Are you on mine because I haven't done anything wrong? Or are you indifferent because they are your child too?" This question has needed an answer. Here is what Joshua 5:13-15 says:

The Lord’s Commander Confronts Joshua

¹³ When Joshua was near the town of Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with sword in hand. Joshua went up to him and demanded, “Are you friend or foe?”

¹⁴ “Neither one,” he replied. “I am the commander of the Lord’s army.”

At this, Joshua fell with his face to the ground in reverence. “I am at your command,” Joshua said. “What do you want your servant to do?”

¹⁵ The commander of the Lord’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did as he was told.

And Lisa said, "When Joshua asked the commander of the Lord's army, "Are you friend or foe?" He asked the wrong question." Sometimes when we can't get along with our Christian friends, or our Christian spouses, or family members that choose not to show us Christ's love...we often ask God whose side He's on. The angel answered Joshua and said he was on neither side because He was on God's side.

That revelation brought chains off of me. And as Lisa said, "God simply wants to know one thing: Are you on his side? If you are a spouse tonight that is hurting because your loved one is indifferent, not listening, uncaring; stay on God's side and He will fight for you. Keep praying. Keep moving forward in God's will. Keep working out your salvation. Keep your eyes fixed on Him.

And maybe you are the spouse who is not listening, uncaring, and indifferent- I challenge you to answer one question. I challenge you to look in and answer the question that Joshua asked the Lord's commander: Whose side are you on? Are you friend (on God's side) or are you foe (allowing the enemy to use you in his scheme to destroy your family). The grass is never greener on the other side. Maybe fear is rooted in every fight you have with your spouse. Maybe pride is there or envy. No matter what, your battle is not with flesh and blood. And just as God has a wonderful plan for your life and your marriage- Satan has a plan too. It's your choice.

ATTN: ALL FAITH-BASED BLOGGERS & INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS

2011-07-31T19:37:00.000-07:00

For Bloggers: I want you to be a part of my new ebook on social media and marketing. If you are a faith-based blogger, then I want to list you in my directory. It doesn't matter what size audience you have, big or small, I want other Christian writers to be able to find you. You can either leave your email below or find me on facebook to request the questionnaire.

For professionals: If you have expertise in the following areas, please email me. I would like to feature you in the book. Are you an expert in:
1. Marketing
2. Social Media
3. Speaking
4. Writing
5. Editing

Please pass this on to any friends or network professionals that you think would be interested. You can email me at: christianapps4kids@gmail.com

Thank you! Feel free to Tweet, post on your Facebook wall, or share via email with other Christians in the industry.

Understanding the In-Between

2011-07-29T22:02:00.000-07:00

They just couldn't wrap their brains around it. The in-between had them throwing questions at me left and right. We drove on slick roads in between two towns and they were confused.

"Mom, where are we?"

We just left Cleveland.

"So, where are we?"

We are in between Cleveland and Dayton.

"So are we in Cleveland or Dayton?"

Neither.

We are in between.

"So are we in Dayton yet?"

No.

We are in the middle.

"What's the middle?"

It goes Cleveland, Dayton, then Liberty. That's where we are going.

"So, where are we now?"

~~Everyone join me: draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly.~~

The in between - it confused the mess out of my three, little, 5-year-old messes. In rapid-fire succession this conversation continued until I was able to say....YES! WE ARE FINALLY IN DAYTON!!!!

"So, how long until Liberty?"

Well, now, we are in-between...again.

And there I was face-to-face with my own confusion about living in the in-between. I've been sandwiched in between sickness and health, finding purpose in my career, wanting to do things for God that matter. Sometimes the in-between is difficult to understand. Sometimes it rubs our patience raw. We want the finish line, the trophy at the end of the game, the buzzer to go off.
But...
LIFE IS LIVED IN THE IN-BETWEEN.

Somehow, we must grasp this. We must be okay with our in-between or life will pass us by. God uses the in-between to prepare us for His kingdom. We partake in His suffering and one day we will partake in the place He has prepared for us.
I use to want to run ahead. I use to want the end-game. As God continues to work inside of me, I realize I want the in-between. I don't want to run ahead of God or I might not be ready for what He has for me.
Are you in between tonight? Do you trust Him? His timing? He has promised to finish the good work He began in all of us.

Captivity

2011-07-26T22:04:00.000-07:00

I have to give it up. I scrawled it on paper and placed it on the altar. I wrote it big and bold across my paper at She Speaks this past weekend. I threw it on the altar. I threw away it's hold on my mind and my body. I have been in captivity to:

FOOD

I know you are wondering how a girl that is allergic to so much would need to give up what she already can't eat. Maybe this will help you understand why:

ENTITLEMENT

See, a battle has been raging within me for three years. Since the day I kissed gluten and all my favorite pasta's and pizza's goodbye, I've been fighting a war of entitlement. I wanted to throw every loaf of bread up against the wall on the bread aisle ~~but I didn't because I didn't want to be put behind bars :).~~ But, from that day forward, the bars went up anyway. I became a captive to entitlement.

"Well, if I can't have pizza, then I will..."

...eat the entire box of gluten free m&m cookies - cause I can. And if I can't have a sandwich, then I will just eat the entire gluten free pizza that I was so blessed to find at Whole Foods ~~bless you Whole Foods~~- cause I can. And if I can't eat what everyone else is having, then I'll just eat twice as much - cause I can. And here I sit- 15 pounds heavier than what is healthy for my height, constantly beating myself up, and chronically ignoring the sweet whisper of God to just...

Let. It Go.

A few weeks ago, I was in beat yourself up mode because I had blown it-again. I began to pray and confess that I don't have what it takes to eat right. As plain as if God was next to me, this sentence was whispered into my mind:

"I want you to give up food, so I can give it back to you."

And I stopped cold. I'd been in a grudge match, white knuckles and all, over it from the very first day I was told that I either give up gluten or be sick for the rest of my life. I didn't want to be sick anymore. But, when God spoke that sentence to my heart the other day; I realized something profound. The first hour I gave up all my favorite foods, I set food up on a throne. I made food an idol. Isn't that twisted?That I could give something up and place it on a throne all at the same time? Sometimes, when we don't willingly give things up, they easily become idols. We want what we can't have. At that moment in time - I decided that I was owed those foods. I became an idolater.

I became devoted to food.

I am not owed those foods. I am not owed blessings. I am not owed breath or life. I am not owed happiness or freedom. And I am not owed a skinny dress size.

But, God...

He wants to give us good things. He not only wants us to be healed of our diseases, but to have lasting peace, happiness, and freedom. He pours grace all over us. It washes away our sins, our obsessions, and continually points us back to Him. He's stronger than any addiction or entitlement alike. He is El - the strong one. The exact name my name was placed on at She Speaks. Oh, how I need to stand on His name! To count on Him to be exactly who He is...

Strong, Mighty, & Powerful

So, today, I ask you? What is God gently asking you to surrender? I know it's so hard, but God is teaching me that when I am obedient in surrendering what He has asked me to, He gives me more of Himself. When I have more of Him, I have more freedom, more healing, and more peace.

Who is the King of glory? The LORD, strong and mighty, the LORD, invincible in battle." Psalm 24:8

When You're Beating Yourself Up

2011-07-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

I'm not artistic. And that just might be the understatement of the year. Matter of fact, I found a train that Baby A crafted with tape, construction paper, and string that blows 29 years of stick people out of the water.

I'm not organized. It took me 3 years to get all my bills filed into folders and put in the proper place and that was only yesterday in case you are taking notes.

I'm not good with technology. Robb says I can mess up a piece of technology just by looking at it. I'm beginning to believe him. Don't you dare tell him that. His head just might swell like the mean 'ole grinches heart.

I take pictures of my children that never make it off the SD card, although I love taking them in the moment. I'm not much for washing dishes, but I do love to cook. I love having dogs, but I love when Robb feeds and waters them.

The truth is, we all have strengths and weaknesses. Wouldn't life be boring if we all looked the same? Next week, I'll be 1 of over 600 women at a Christian conference-all with the desire to use our gifts for God. Will our gifts be different - yes! Will some of us share similar giftings - yes!

It doesn't really matter which gift you have, as long as you are using what God gave you. If I'm not careful, and I take my eyes off of who God made me to be, I will start comparing myself to everyone else.

And there goes my hamster wheel... "Oh man, what a HUGE testimony she has" or "Wow, she speaks 5 languages and is a size negative 2" If one thing is for sure, comparison will get us into a pit faster than anything. We can't be who God wants us to be if our eyes are on everyone else.

Here is one of my favorite verses when I'm throwing my self-esteem up against the wall:

"Let your eyes be turned to Him and you will have light, and your faces will not be ashamed." Psalm 34:5 Bible in Basic English

If you're struggling with finding your place in ministry and comparing your gifts with others, start by discovering your spiritual gift. Over the years, my spiritual gifts have changed slightly. One remains dominant, but my sub-gifts move around a bit. Everyone has at least one and some of you might have many. THIS site offers a great spiritual gift analysis and is the one I use. Consider what the Bible says about spiritual gifts in Ephesians 4:11-13:

"Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ." New Living Translation

Seeing in the Storm

2011-07-06T20:11:00.000-07:00

Stop. Breathe.

However, it needs to happen--it's time to rest.

I have a confession:

I've been keeping 8 am to 1 am hours.

You're right, those hours are for the insane.

Last year, as I was flying home from She Speaks we flew over a storm.

I had literally chased God to the conference. My health had declined so badly I was willing to fly over 1,000 miles to see what God had for me. Would He heal me there? Would He connect me with someone that could unlock the mystery behind my illness? Would He show me the purpose behind my physical pain? When I left for She Speaks, I had trouble driving five minutes down the road to Wal-Mart, much less flying alone to another state, rooming with a stranger, and eating food I was probably allergic to.

On the return trip home, I felt God's presence and then He gave me a large dose of perspective.

We flew above and beside a raging storm.

I could see the rain flooding the green Earth below.

I could see the thunderhead billowing upwards toward the sky.

I imagined all the people below.

Soaking up the rain.

Running from the rain.

Playing in the rain.

From where my plane soared through the air, I could see the full perspective of the storm.

I knew if I had been on the ground, I would have looked up and seen only darkness.

I would have seen black skies, heard the thunder, and run inside to escape my circumstances.

But, from the plane--I could see things differently. Above the massive, gray thunderhead was the reflection of the sun.

It sparkled on the top of the same gray cloud that was showering the Earth and wreaking havoc below.

It was in that moment that I was able to SEE. It was a reminder that I was not God. I can't see like Him. He is El Roi- the God who sees both above and below the storm.

He is able to give us rest, perspective, and His peace no matter what side of the storm we are on.

If you are in the storm -- the storm of busy, or sickness, or financial hardship, or loss--you can rest assured that He is good. He is good no matter what.

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Matthew 11:29 & 30 The Message

Fourth of July Freebie!

2011-07-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

Happy Fourth of July! If you've noticed that I've been scarce it's because a certain triplet spilled water on my computer. It came on after hours of drying out only to power down and quit working again. But, let's move on to happier times: a fourth of July freebie for YOU!

For those of you who don't already know, I have started a new writing venture. In about six weeks I will have two book apps for children coming out on iPad and iPhone for kids ages 2-8. These are books for the Christian market. Along the way I met a nice guy named Andrew Hoyer, a fellow app developer who has agreed to give away some of his Christian flashcards to three of my wonderful readers. Yes, I already told him how great ya'll are. These flashcards would be great reading practice for early readers. They feature Bible related pictures with their accompanying word.

Three of you will win a free download for your iPad or iPhone. But, don't worry, if you don't have an iPad or iPhone, but know someone who does, you can re-gift the code to a friend. These would make great gifts for a child or grandchild!
Here is how you can win:

1. You must leave a comment on the blog so I know you have entered.
2. You can go to my new author page on Facebook HERE and "like" my page .
3. Or you can become a follower of Jessie's House directly on the blog. To follow on the blog, simply follow the left hand column down until you see the word Follow. Click it and then it will show you what to do from there.
4. To follow Jessie's House via networked blogs on Facebook click HERE.

Please share freely a link to this contest to help Andrew get some exposure for his flashcards. But, don't forget to leave me a comment or I won't know that you entered! So, who is Andrew Hoyer?
Andrew Hoyer has been in the software and web development industry for over ten years and has recently started developing for mobile devices. He has a number of apps on the App Store, including a couple of children's flash card apps.These apps, titled "Little Scribes" have a Biblical theme and are made up of 100% custom artwork. Andrew has two kids of his own, plays Chess competitively, and loves being his own personal chef. You can connect with Andrew several ways:

1. Via Facebook: facebook.com/littlescribes
2. Via Twitter: twitter.com/littlescribes
3. His personal blog: http://trooperscoop.blogspot.com or on his website http://www.andrewhoyer.com

She Speaks Candidly

2011-06-25T22:02:00.000-07:00

Please take a seat and get comfy. I'm going to tell you some things that no one knows about my adventure at She Speaks last year. What I have told you is that it was like church camp for women. I felt God's presence like I hadn't in sometime. He spoke. That's why I was there. Well, ONE of the reasons anyway. I have so enjoyed our She Speaks chat group on facebook. All the questions, answers, and excitement have blessed me. Some of the anxiousness reminded me of some funny things that happened to me last year.

I went to She Speaks a very sick girl. I had never flown alone and that made me really nervous. I am also going to be really candid on the WWW and tell you that I had to stop 3 times in a 45 minute trip to use some of the most horrid, stinky gas station restrooms along the way to the airport. Yeah, remember me? I'm the girl whose is allergic to food, the girl whose food flies as fast as a jet plane through her system. Remember, I said candid. So, I was embarrassed and thinking things were not going to go well before I had even arrived at the airport.

So, there I was. The truck that brought me had one of those covered beds that locked. Well, the key was suddenly missing with my luggage locked in the back. Note to self: do not put luggage in a truck with a lockable bed cover. There I was, needing another restroom, sweating in the Texas heat, with no way to get my luggage out. Cars zoomed around us probably wondering why this lady and her big white truck wouldn't get out of the way. I threw up a real quick "Satan get away from my luggage in Jesus name!" and we found the key.

I sauntered, like a lost puppy, through the airport asking what seemed like the dumbest questions for an adult in her twenties. I managed to find the right line only after I had found the wrong one. I prayed my way through security with a "Lord, please don't let me go the bathroom on myself and please take away the feeling that my insides are falling out." And I did. I made it through. I found my gate and quickly found my seat. Then, I saw this "lady." She screamed "writer." She had a sweater tied around her neck and a cute tote. I questioned myself again. Was I suppose to be here? I was emotionally exhausted and physically a wreck. And I totally didn't look the part.

Then, God reminded me; He had already gone before me. Months earlier, I had felt the nudge to attend. I had no money to do such a thing and my health was bad. The ladies in my Bible study prayed with me about it. I told God, "God, I don't have the money for that and my health is bad, but if you want me to go your going to have to find the money for me - cause I can barely pay my bills." My courage was hiding in a dark closet with the door locked, and she had even swallowed the key. I tried to get scholarships and didn't. Then, suddenly, three people offered me money to go- it was just enough to cover the cost of the entire conference.

I bought my plane ticket.

My seatbelt was fastened and my stomach had calmed. And then... there was turbulence. I'd never experienced turbulence. Turbulence + me = No bueno. I prayed it would stop and it didn't. So, I asked Jesus if he planned on taking me home like this. I mumbled another "Satan get away from this plane in Jesus name" under my breath so my seat-mate didn't think I was nuts. The turbulence stopped. Two hours later, I had arrived.

I hurredly followed the crowd cause I still had no idea where I was going (even with signs) down to Baggage Claim. Then, the unthinkable happened.

I waited.

And waited some more.

I looked and strained my eyes for the fluorescent luggage tag I had put on my red Wal-Mart suitcase. I stood nervously until only one other red, Wal-Mart suitcase remained. But, alas, it was NOT MINE! My suitcase was gone. Not only did I not have clothes, but I had at least $100 dollars of gluten free food inside of it (in case the food wasn't gluten free and I had to resort to granola bars and rice bowls the whole weekend).

I began to hyperventilate.

And I found the nearest bench and sat. I was tempted to cry. Okay, there was this one tear that made a lovely path through my blush. I had never flown alone. I didn't even know where to go or what to do. So, I said outloud, "Lord, send me someone."

And then....someone...sat down beside me. I didn't even notice her official airline uniform or her tag that read "Baggage Claim" when I mumbled with a cracking voice: "And what do you do if your bag doesn't come out?" She said, "Honey, there is one bag still on the belt, is it not yours?" And I told her that my bag was red, but had fluoresecent tags. That bag was red, but had old tags.

She was my baggage angel. She truly worked in baggage and had left her little baggage claim office and 'happened' to have a seat next to me. Immediately she sprung into action and told me that someone must have mistakenly grabbed my bag and I now had theirs. We called the number on the suitcase. The number belonged to a family member of a teenager on my flight- his step mom's. However, the kids biological mom had picked him up from the airport. The step-mom called the biological mom and within 20 minutes they turned around and brought me back my bag.

Oh yes, and I forgot to mention that my MAC computer was also in that suitcase why I had packed it instead of put it in my carry on bag I will never be able to answer.

In the nick of time, I caught the shuttle.

Things had settled down. I had even scored a 15-minute slot to have The Writing Spa review one of my articles. I happened to have an hour window before the appointment, so I scheduled a massage at the Hotel Spa. When I got out of my massage, my locker wouldn't open. I went to the front desk and asked for help. The girl couldn't get it open either. I had 15 minutes to get my locker open, change my clothes, and get my article out of the locker. After ten minutes of trying, it was apparent that I was going to miss my 15-minute appointment.

There I stood:

Spa robe and three-sizes-too small, rubber sandals with my room key, article, and clothes all locked in my locker.

I prayed again - at this point the no clothes standing in a robe type of point it wasn't funny! After several tries, the girl got a special tool and....open sesame. I had 2 minutes. Sweating, I sprinted up the stairs and had my article critiqued.

So, what's my point? My point is- you can do it! Everything that could have gone wrong in my trip, did in a way. But, at the same time, everything still went right. At every turn it seemed like Satan had me pinned. Yet, in the NAME OF JESUS, he must flee. Our God is big. He can unlock bed-covers, calm turbulence, give us back our misplaced baggage, and get our clothes out of a jammed locker. In the midst of all Satan's tactics, God was there. He renewed me, blessed me, connected me with awesome women of God, and clarified my purpose as a writer. Just remember, if Satan is on you like white on rice in these coming weeks, take heart and know that you must be on to something profound or you wouldn't be worth his time.

Psalm 31:24: "Put away fear and let your heart be strong, all you whose hope is in the Lord."

Part 2 Series: Proving that He's Different

2011-06-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

"Glory belongs to God, whose power is at work in us. By this power he can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine." Ephesians 3:20

Yesterday, I told you a story. Today, I want to fill in the blanks. See, I had gone into Wal-Mart that day looking like I was all put together. In actuality, I was on the tail end of what had been a very frustrating work day. For those of you new to my blog, you might not know that I have struggled with my health greatly for a decade. Rounds of doctor visits and negative tests have led me down many dead end streets as far as answers are concerned. Each time I would think I had a breakthrough, I would have another health breakdown. When I first started having problems, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. When I found hope in that diagnosis, I continued to struggle. Next, I began to have adverse reactions to foods I once enjoyed and was diagnosed with gluten sensitivity.

Feeling a bit like Humpty Dumpty, the pieces have come slowly into view over a period of ten years:

Endometriosis

Gluten Sensitivity

A bad Gallbladder

Painful abdominal adhesions

Hernias

Pregnancy-induced congestive heart failure

Hypothyroidism

Adrenal Fatigue

Adenomyosis leading to a hysterectomy

Additional Food allergies

Hollow organ seizures/nerve dysfunction

Needless to say, these health problems and raising triplets have put a large strain on our finances. This particular day I had gone around the three counties calling on people for my business. I had to stop a million times along the way to be sick in gas station bathrooms around the Beaumont area if you ever need a map of clean bathrooms, ladies, I've got most of Texas mapped out :).

So, I go into Wal-Mart and then I get in line and see the girl I spoke about yesterday. I was tired- physically and emotionally. My brain was swirling. All I could think about was the $800 deficit I needed to simply scrape by for the month.

But, God.

Not only did He want me to turn on a smile for this girl, He wanted me to give her money that I didn't have. I knew He wanted me to do it and although I despised how embarrassing it felt to be obedient; I wanted to give her the money. It just didn't make sense to give her $60 that I didn't really have to give. At first, when the screen came up I pondered punching $20, but I felt like God wanted me to give more. My hand lingered over $40 and finally I just pushed it. I pulsed out the $60 and thought "What does it matter at this point? Now, I'll just be $860 in the hole instead of an even $800."

As I said yesterday, I hurredly pushed my rickety cart, half-tear-filled, half-curious, and half-exhausted from the strain of the day on to my car. I piled my groceries in the car and just leaned against the steering wheel. I thought about the girl and wondered why in the world God had me do that for her.

Was it for her? Was it for me? Was it for both of us?

I started the engine and noticed a voicemail on my phone no it wasn't God Himself calling although that would make things so much easier sometime wouldn't it? It was a number that was vaguely familiar to me, but I couldn't place it in my head. As I listened to the voicemail, the tears began to spill onto my lap. It was a customer that hadn't called me in a very long time and they needed to place an order. In that moment, the $60 that I gave up became so insignificant. The customer's order more than doubled what I needed to pay my bills for the month.

Sometimes when we prove that we are different in the name of Jesus, He shows us that He is different too. When we show others the love of Christ, God often shows up in ways we never expect.

For her...

He pours out His love and grace --infinitely more than we ask or can imagine.

For us...

...and for you.

He turns water into wine. He takes a few fish and five loaves and feeds thousands. That is the God that I serve. He is why I write. He is why I live. No human can claim that kind of different.

What about you? How has God blessed your obedience? How has He shown you that He's different?

I'd love for you to share with me tonight.

Series: Proving That We're Different

2011-06-15T21:58:00.000-07:00

Mis-matched work-out clothes and a sagging pony tail is how I like to roll. You might see me running errands in my regular Wal-Mart attire: purple athletic shorts and a pink Disciple Now t-shirt yes I'm that woman. Although, I haven't been brave or insane enough to wear the pig-tails that Baby A likes to fix my hair in.

But, then there was this one day....

...one day when I wasn't in my usual frumpy lounge clothes. I happened to be dressed up in my preppy GAP clothes when I ran into Wal-Mart for a few items. I hurredly threw my stuff up onto the conveyor and glanced at the checker.

She seemed college age. She wore all black other than her blue Wal-Mart vest. Her hair was short and spiked. Her eye make-up black to match her clothes.

She was making a statement.

I immediately got insecure. I was over-dressed for any Wal-Mart run and I started to think: "This girl probably thinks I'm some snob that runs around town in full make-up and never ditches her heels." There I was making an assumption, and judgement, about her judgement-- about me.

I know...right?

Then, I heard Him whisper like a faint breeze.

Immediately I got insecure again. My face grew hot and I didn't like what I might have heard Him say.

"You want me to do what?" I pleaded.

And then again.

"Prove to her you're not who she thinks you are."

Now if you know me well, you know that I would take a beating over being embarrassed.

I've been that way since childhood. I don't like to be embarrassed, but I also didn't want to disobey God

So......

I began to quickly question God.

"What am I suppose to do?"

Hug her?

I was 99% certain this girl already hated me just because of how I looked

and God wanted me to witness to her??!?!?!

Compliment her?

Two people got in line behind me and they were definitely in earshot!

"Earshot! Did you hear me God, someone might hear me?"

But, again...

"Prove to her you're not who she thinks you are."

So.....

I tried to start a conversation.

"Hi, how are you today?"

She just kept on scanning.

"Have you been pretty busy today?"

And then I got this...

So, I threw up a quick prayer that went something like this:

"Help me God RIGHT NOW and show me what to do if that is really you talking to me."

About that time, without looking at me, she asked me if I needed cash back

and I realized...I could give her a gift.

So, I pulsed out some cash.

And the man behind me was so close I could feel his breath on me which was adding to this already highly embarrassing situation God wanted me in for some uknown reason and I debated for a few split seconds just how in the WORLD I was going to give her the cash without being so INCREDIBLY awkward. I hate being embarrassed did I mention that?

Right then, she threw the cash up on the check-out counter.

I grabbed it, feeling so very embarrassed, and started to push my cart on to the comfort of my vehicle.

But, God.

He just. Wouldn't. Let me. Go.

I paused at the end of her station.

Breathed in deep and handed the cash out to her.

She finally looked me in the eye.

"Ma'am is something wrong, you did want that amount didn't you?"

"Yes, you gave me the right amount."

Shifting my weight, I looked her in the eye and said,

"Would you get in trouble if I gave you a gift?"

She stared at me as her powder skin turned red.

"I mean, I don't really need the cash back. It's for you.

Actually. I mean..umm..just take it, I'm sure you could buy something cool with it."

The two people behind me were now seriously staring.

"Why would you give me money?"

"I just felt like God wanted me to give you a gift today. That's all."

Then I saw it.

Warmth filled her face and she seemed to relax.

She had been cold and unresponsive when I tried to talk with her before.

Yet, in that moment, I could see the tough facade melt away.

I don't know what her life was like. She might not have needed the money.

She could have begrudged me for holding up her line.

I may never know if it meant anything to her.

But, maybe, she was down on her luck.

Maybe she had spent her last paycheck on car repairs and had no money to eat.

Maybe she dressed like that for attention because no one in her family cared what she did.

Or maybe, the call to be obedient had nothing to do with her, but was a test of obedience for me.

Maybe God wanted to see if I would forfeit my comfort to meet a need.

Maybe He wanted to know if I would react to a whisper or if He still needed His megaphone to get me to move.

Has obedience ever been uncomfortable for you?

What has God asked you to do to prove that you were different?

Tell me about it and come back tomorrow for another piece of the story.

Make Your Hearts at Home

All Grown Up

God reminders and blank, white icons

Our Daily Bread

Bible-based Financial Help in 2012

Not For Sale: demoralizing the builders

de·mor·al·ize

500 containers of $1.80 guacamole

Feelings

The Junk Drawer

The Battle for Your Mind

Home

Crying in my Wheaties

Caped Crusaders + their Southern Belle Sidekick

Disclaimer: Why I smelled at church on Sunday

In The Wilderness

Christian Witchcraft

A Christian Witch: One girl's testimony by Kristine McGuire

Wiccans: Questions and Answers with Marni Arnold

The Wiccan Religion: An interview with Marni Arnold

Day 21: God's unchanging character

Day 20: When all feels lost

Day 19: When your own expectations breed bondage

Day 18: Living Water

{Because confessing a scripture directly linked to your area of struggle is the proper way to wage war in a spiritual battle}.

John 4:1-10

Jesus and the Woman of Samaria

Day 17: {X}pecting Good Fruit from Bad Soil

Day 16: The Prayer that Changes Everything

Day 15: Waging War and Pressing On

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: Choose this Day

When Your Marriage Falls Apart

Day 12: Believing God and the Proof You Want

{X}pect that He is Mighty to Save

Day 10: {X}pect God's Ability to Save

Day 9: {X}pect True healing

Day 8: Supernatural Healing

Finances: Scriptures to Stand On

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: Your Finances

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: Setting your Pillars

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: The Sands of Unbelief

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: Willing to Repair the Breach

Finding your personal {X} factor

{X}pect God's Radical Provision: 21 day belief bootcamp

T is for...

When people "un-friend" you

I remember

Learning to break the rules

Bowls of Mercy

The gift of Free

The View from Here

Just Keep Holding On

Just Do It

Decades

33

The Adventure of a Lifetime

Whose side are you on?

13 When Joshua was near the town of Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with sword in hand. Joshua went up to him and demanded, “Are you friend or foe?”

ATTN: ALL FAITH-BASED BLOGGERS & INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS

Understanding the In-Between

Captivity

When You're Beating Yourself Up

Seeing in the Storm

Fourth of July Freebie!

*She Speaks* Candidly

Part 2 Series: Proving that He's Different

Series: Proving That We're Different

¹³ When Joshua was near the town of Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with sword in hand. Joshua went up to him and demanded, “Are you friend or foe?”

She Speaks Candidly