I'm not so sure if this post should be A) public knowledge or B) tagged under 'Playroom' or 'Dirty Laundry' for it was surely some dirty laundry.
It all started Sunday morning with
It's that combination between a hot dog and a dirty penny
I turn on the air and roll down the windows to make the smell go away.
At this point, I'm wondering if I'm crazy and maybe the smell was breakfast and in my head. I get out, check out the contents of the car and set my phone on the hood. I turn on the car and when I blast the air....the smell multiplied as fast as the dirty laundry does in my house. I put the car in reverse and slam on the brakes as I see a car pulling out behind me while I watch my cell phone fly across the hood.
Baby A & C and I all start to gag.
Thankfully, no one throws up
We arrive at church.
I figure all I need is a little time. Time was my friend. However, time was not on my side as we were already 5 minutes late. To make matters worse, I was visiting a new sunday school class for the first time.
I head to the bathroom to let myself air out
This smell had some serious staying power.
I head to class. I arrive into a very intimate setting of ladies.
I lean in and whisper, "I'm sorry you're sitting next to me, I totally smell like food for some reason." And she just giggles
Sunday school ends and I dodge as many people as I can to get to my seat. But, lo and behold my two new friends head over to give me a big hug (Sorry girls). I shake some hands and pray that no one sits next to me.
Enter in husband.
I immediately go to explaining under my breath "I smell like a hot dog and a dirty penny and I cannot figure out why. Something is in my car or maybe a mouse died in my air conditioning vent or there is some penicillin growing on my floor board! I don't know but I stink so bad I cannot stand it myself!"
Husband holds nose and leans far away.
Thanks, yeah thank you for YOUR UNDIVIDED LOVE AND SUPPORT!
The service marched forward. I think I threw up in my mouth and knew everyone around me could smell me. There was just something about that smell. With time, it only grew worse, not better.
Once the service ended I told Robb to get the kids. I didn't want them to smell like me, even though I feared for their smell through sunday school too. I practically ran out of the sanctuary so that no one else would want to chat or hug
As I pull out of the parking lot, Robb and the kids are heading to their car. And being the LOVING, SUPPORTIVE, MATURE person that he is, he has the children yell at the top of their lungs...
...as I bolted from the parking lot. Thanks guys - love you TOO!
When I get home, I began cleaning out the big blue beast. It wasn't so bad. And I still couldn't figure out why it smelled so bad. I set my keys in the seat and started lugging jackets, old Sunday school papers, and the occasional wrapper from Sonic to our big blue trash can.
Then, I spot it.
A double-knotted Wal-Mart sack.
Now, if you are a mom and you have double-knotted a Wal-Mart sack, then we all know what that means. It means...dirty underwear. It means that the kind of incident that occurred happened at someone else's home who did NOT WANT THOSE THINGS IN THEIR WASHER. And in the name of thriftiness
And apparently, because I love to draw conclusions, if you leave a sack of streaked laundry in your car for 4 days ...it will smell the equivalent of a hot dog and a dirty penny. And so will you. Just a little word of warning.
To everyone that follows me on Facebook, somewhere before the discovery of doublet-knotted Wal-Mart sack with a surprise inside
Happy Tuesday Everyone! Happy Tuesday! And to whoever suggested it, you are so right, they need an APP FOR THAT!