Monday, October 10, 2011

Day 8: Supernatural Healing

I closed my mind to the notion of healing. I had been sick for too long. I grew up healthy. I ate what I wanted, exercised painlessly, and excelled in athletics. Then, I got on birth control. Then, everything changed. The last 10 years of my life have been a confusing puzzle with droves of doctors and family members trying to figure out what happened. For me, delayed diagnosis only led my body down a worsening path. Out of control hormones, Endometriosis, adrenal fatigue, food allergies, low thyroid, and a bad gallbladder all worked together like one enormous, silent cancer. No, I didn't have cancer, but it felt like it. I had every symptom of colon cancer, but every test would come back negative.

I knew Jesus could heal me. I just didn't know how to take hold of his healing. I thought a lot about the story of the disciples when they couldn't cast out the demon. They asked Jesus why and he said they couldn't cast it out because they lacked faith. So, where did that leave me? I would try to declare louder, think better, and try to grab at healing; cause I was desperate. But, still, I would remain sick. I would read about people that had received supernatural healing and I was jealous. Why was it theirs and not mine? Why did some people get a miracle and others died?

When we ask "why" we can go down a very slippery slope of unbelief. Yet, I believe that asking why is actually a great part of "working out our salvation." There's nothing wrong with asking God questions. He can take them. It's when I didn't get the immediate answer of healing, when I allowed myself to quit believing it was possible. Luke 1:37 says {Nothing is impossible with God}.

Chronic illness is one of the greatest faith challenges I have faced. It has also brought me closer to the Lord than any single event in my life. God didn't promise us a painless life, but He did promise to never leave us. I know that chronic illness or dealing with illness can be one of the hardest battles against our feelings. Why?

{Because we often allow our feelings to dictate our beliefs, rather than allow our beliefs to dictate our feelings}. 

Believing in healing and facing chronic illness can often feel like automatic defeat, but I refuse to believe this lie from the Enemy. Do we not serve a God who healed all kinds of diseases? Do we not serve a God who raised Lazarus from the dead? Man would say "It is impossible to breathe life into a dead corpse!" But, not only did Jesus raise men from the dead through God's power, but He Himself was raised by His Father in Heaven.

My mom once saw a man's leg grow an entire foot while a body of believers prayed for him. His limbs were not even when he came in, but when he left; he was healed.

{I have told you this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows But take heart, because I have overcome the world.}. John 16:33


Kim said...

Hi Jessica,
I just spent the last half hour reading your blog posts and meditating on your inspirational words. I love how you are letting the Lord work through you! Thank you!

Jessica Kirkland said...

Thank you Kim. I'm through day 8 of this study and thinking, "No one is even reading this." Thanks for your comment. Has brightened my gloomy day. :)

Tammy said...

Oh sweetie - we are reading this! Usually, tearfully, but reading it still! Love what you're doing here. Hugs, my friend!