Monday, October 31, 2011

A Christian Witch: One girl's testimony by Kristine McGuire

His Amazing Grace ~ My Testimony
Kristine McGuire

I was raised in a traditional Christian home.  I accepted Jesus as my Savior at Vacation Bible School when I was six years old. However, there were other influences in my life. I was aware of the unseen world around me. And I was absolutely fascinated by the occult. Ghosts, witches, mediums, psychics, haunted houses.
I wanted to learn about it all.
Growing up, my greatest ambition was to be a fortune teller (or a missionary in Africa. Go figure). My friends and I would pretend to be psychic or read each others palms. We would have “séances” at birthday  sleepovers, tell ghost stories, try to conjure the face of “Bloody Mary” in the mirror, or levitate each other with our fingertips.
As a teenager I started reading the Bible myself. I learned that God has warned against all of the mysterious, magical things I enjoyed. I loved God. I didn't want to offend Him, so I stopped participating in occult games and seeking psychic experiences. The problem---the desire remained. Even as I devoted myself to God, went to a Christian college, met and married a Christian man, there was a longing deep within me to explore those hidden occult interests.
My husband and I were very active in church. As a child I knew a relationship with God was based on His mercy but some how over the years I lost that vital understanding of my Savior. I forgot His mercy. I listened to others who suggested to be a "real Christian" you had to follow certain rules, live a certain way, to be godly. I became legalistic, replacing a relationship with God for religion in a quest to be “perfect”.
Over the years, I became angry. When life became difficult I was confused. All my efforts (prayer, reading scripture every day, attending church) seemed to be ignored by God. My family wasn't prosperous despite doing all the correct things or saying the right words.  Unable to live up to my strict demands of perfection I became depressed. I stopped reading the Bible and gave up on prayer. Church became a rote exercise. My relationship with my husband became strained as we struggled under unrealistic expectations.
I first learned about Wicca in 1995. Spiritually hungry, I began to study anything I could find which would answer the questions which were swirling in my mind. I found a book, drawn by the promise of understanding magic from the title. It wasn't until 1999, when I came to the conclusion that Christianity wasn’t working for me, that I took the information I learned about witchcraft and goddess worship as my own.
I began searching the Internet for information, joining pagan message boards, and befriending those with like minds or who could answer my questions. I studied mythology. I learned about herbs, crystals, colors, as well as divination techniques such as the tarot and pendulum.
For the first year I hid my mystical practices from my husband. He was going through his own emotional and spiritual struggles. I attended church, taught preschool in a Christian daycare. 

{I wore a convincing Christian mask.}

Eventually, I left my marriage and the church. I believed I had found freedom.
Over the next several years I worshipped the goddess, explored psychic development, and became a Claire sentient Medium. In 2005 I added ghost hunting to my ever expanding list of occult interests and activities.
And yet, despite my willful disobedience, God was not about to let me go easily. The Holy Spirit was always there, reminding me of His presence, convicting me of my sin. More than once I worried I'd made a mistake.  I would waffle between Christianity and witchcraft, throwing away all of my books and witchcraft supplies. If only there had been true repentance.  I tried to be a “good Christian”only to return to the Craft a month or so later.
You see, I still loved the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I wanted to be able to worship God but practice witchcraft. So I decided to bring my past faith into my current practice. I began culling from both Christianity and witchcraft, keeping what I liked from each while leaving the rest behind.
I became a Christian witch.
While creating my own unique (and hidden) spiritual path, I went back to church. Five years after our initial separation and several attempts to fix what was broken, my husband and I reunited. He had gotten his life and faith straightened out. He knew I was practicing witchcraft, working as a medium, and going on paranormal investigations. He decided to love me where I was and pray.
I believed I'd found my answer. I discovered other Christians who were “synchronizing” their religious beliefs with  mysticism as well. I was content for the first time in years.
God had other plans.
My husband was away, working in Georgia for eight weeks, when I got the call from my ghost hunting team. We were doing an emergency investigation a few days after Thanksgiving 2007. My job, as a medium, was to go into the environment and give a reading. No prior details, other than the address, would be given. I would conduct a videotaped walk through of the area. The team would hold "vigils" in the areas I had designated as supernatural "hot spots". 
That particular night I sensed a very hostile spirit in the home. I recognized it as demonic (what I called at the time "inhuman") spirit being. The team experienced some odd activity in the area where I sensed this presence most strongly. At one point during the investigation, I commanded the spirit to leave in the name of Jesus.
The team I worked with was very serious about paranormal investigation. Everything we did was from a desire to help people experiencing frightening or unexplainable events. We went in to every location armed with digital recorders, cameras, and other equipment. When an interesting EVP (electronic voice phenomena) was recorded the team leader would send it to me.  A few days after the Thanksgiving ghost hunt, he emailed me an audio clip from the investigation.
Donning my head phones I played it.
Over the two years I worked with the team I heard a number of interesting EVP's from our investigations. Whispers recorded when no one was in a room. Strange knocks or taps on walls.
I can honestly say I've never heard anything quite like what was on this particular audio.
The file began right after I commanded the "inhuman spirit" to leave the house in the name of Jesus. I'm recorded saying "You're uninvited!" after which the team leader quipped "You can't follow me home."  Suddenly you hear what can only be described as an angry shriek followed by a loud thump. Honestly, it's one of the weirdest things I have ever heard. As I sat there, listening to the audio clip over and over, I was completely stunned. Believe what you will, but I knew  I was hearing a demon scream in response to Jesus name.
I was as self deceived as a Christian could be. Jesus was still with me. Even coming from my lips, the authority and power of His name could still make demons scream and flee. It was as if a veil had been placed over my head all those years and someone had suddenly yanked it off.
My husband is a professional audio engineer. He tested the audio file. There was nothing fake or anything he could explain to account for the strange scream. I spent the next day or so reading my Bible. I read all the verses about witchcraft, mediums, consulting psychics, divination. I read  Matthew 6:22-23 (NLT):
“Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!"
I got down on my face before God and repented of everything, praying for hours, weeping, confessing, and rebuking demons I'd allowed into my life and family. God's mercy delivered me. My life is centered firmly in Jesus Christ. And I thank Him every day for His amazing grace.

Kristine McGuire is a Christian inspirational speaker/writer, sharing her testimony and encouraging others in their walk with Christ. She is a wife, mother, and Biblical Counselor through the American Association of Christian Counselors. Kristine is a featured columnist for Positively Feminine. Her book, Escaping the Cauldron, will be published by Charisma House in Fall 2012. Escaping the Cauldron is a personal memoir and Biblical study recounting Kristine's journey from committed Christian to witch, medium, and ghost hunter for eight years until restored to faith in Jesus Christ. You can connect with Kristine at: Kristine ReMixed, on Facebook: 


Mining for Diamonds said...

Thank you for sharing. I would be interested in reading your book.

Kristine said...

I'm blessed that Jessica asked me. And the book will be available Sept. 2012. There will be questions at the end of each chapter for deeper consideration or small groups. My prayer is God will use it for His glory. :)

Heidi Leanne said...

Reading through all of these posts and I am left in awe by the power and grace of our God. Than you for sharing your story Kristine - what I difficult journey you have been on. But our God is truly an awesome God!!

Aisling from FL said...

This is exactly where I'm at, walking in two worlds, thinking I can have it both ways, fearful of losing friends but even more fearful of making the wrong decision. That allure you talk about is very real- I don't understand why I can't just walk away from goddess spirituality, the craft, the magickal life, etc. I really feel like I want to- I find a great peace in Christianity that I haven't discovered on any other path. But every time I start to feel strong in my faith, a roadblock goes up and I let myself get derailed. I feel like I'm engaged in a full out battle and I'm getting tired of it. Thanks for your post. I think I will read your book, as I really need to hear about others who have been where I am and triumphed. Many blessings!