She says to me, "Well I guess I deserve it, I knew he was like this when I married him" and my heart sinks. No, you didn't sign up to be the equivalent of a single mother while your husband does as he pleases. You didn't sign up to bear the burden of household duties, financial strains, and the difficult job of being "mom." You signed up for marriage because you loved a man that made you a promise. She deserves a Godly man that fulfills the vows He made to a holy God.
She says to me, "He told me that he doesn't want to be with me" and my fist clenches. And I just don't understand why. Cause she's a great mother, a Godly woman, with a heart of gold. And he has no idea what he will miss if he chooses to go.
She says to me, "My husband won't quit partying and he's hanging around bad influences" and I breathe in deep. Cause grown men raising teenagers can't raise them well if they themselves are acting like one. She is grasping at his love and he strays further with each swipe. And I just can't fathom the reason. Cause she has sacrificed her time and her body, she has determined to raise children like her mother taught her. She does it well, but he gives her no compliments just grief.
Christian marriages under attack.
These emails, phone calls, Facebook messages keep pouring in to me. Strangers reach out, friends call with bad news, people hear that I will pray for them. And I feel weak. Weak to hold their burdens, but urgent to lift their hurt up to the only One who can truly change their situation. If this is you, I want you to know that God Himself will fight for you.
At the conference I attended last week, Lisa Terkeurst was recounting the fall of Jericho found in Joshua 5:13-15. She said something that has answered a question that has burned inside of me whenever I'm in conflict with another Christian. See, I always want to know: "God, whose side are you on? Are you on mine because I haven't done anything wrong? Or are you indifferent because they are your child too?" This question has needed an answer. Here is what Joshua 5:13-15 says:
The Lord’s Commander Confronts Joshua
13 When Joshua was near the town of Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with sword in hand. Joshua went up to him and demanded, “Are you friend or foe?”
14 “Neither one,” he replied. “I am the commander of the Lord’s army.”
At this, Joshua fell with his face to the ground in reverence. “I am at your command,” Joshua said. “What do you want your servant to do?”
15 The commander of the Lord’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did as he was told.
And Lisa said, "When Joshua asked the commander of the Lord's army, "Are you friend or foe?" He asked the wrong question." Sometimes when we can't get along with our Christian friends, or our Christian spouses, or family members that choose not to show us Christ's love...we often ask God whose side He's on. The angel answered Joshua and said he was on neither side because He was on God's side.
That revelation brought chains off of me. And as Lisa said, "God simply wants to know one thing: Are you on his side? If you are a spouse tonight that is hurting because your loved one is indifferent, not listening, uncaring; stay on God's side and He will fight for you. Keep praying. Keep moving forward in God's will. Keep working out your salvation. Keep your eyes fixed on Him.
And maybe you are the spouse who is not listening, uncaring, and indifferent- I challenge you to answer one question. I challenge you to look in and answer the question that Joshua asked the Lord's commander: Whose side are you on? Are you friend (on God's side) or are you foe (allowing the enemy to use you in his scheme to destroy your family). The grass is never greener on the other side. Maybe fear is rooted in every fight you have with your spouse. Maybe pride is there or envy. No matter what, your battle is not with flesh and blood. And just as God has a wonderful plan for your life and your marriage- Satan has a plan too. It's your choice.