Friday, May 6, 2011

Struggling in the Gray

I like things to line up. 
To go according to my plan. 
But, sometimes normal isn't what we thought it would be.
We want the fog to lift immediatey.
We want directions to be clear in life.
We want to be fast on our way to purpose, peace, and prosperity.
I struggle in this place. 
It's the gray area. 
In this place my expectations, the way I thought
life would be, stand in stark contrast to reality. 
I feel guilty in this place. 
I muddy my mind with what if's.
  The pain I feel physically threatens the truth in my heart.
Light fights darkness. 
I've been struggling in the gray.
But, ya know, I don't think I would give it back if I had the chance.
Because we grow in the gray. 
It beckons.
 "What will you do with the only life you have?"
And it demands an answer.
Today, I've answered this question in my heart.
Even through the pain; I will answer it every day. 
I choose God. 
He sharpens. 
And in the end, we become more like Him. 

"When you pass through the water, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you: when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee."
Isaiah 43:2