Saturday, March 20, 2010

Records are made to be broken

Records are meant to be broken, but I was hoping to keep this record going.  Tonight, the record ceases to exist.  It had been going strong for 28 years, 6 months, and 4 days.  Tonight, I came head to head with one of my biggest fears... 

Meet Exhibit A



I have outrun and screamed my way away from these things my whole life. I am terrified of wasps, bees, and horseflies.  Throw me a snake, I will just kill it. Send a bee to buzz my way and I will flail my long arms like a wild woman and run for dear life.  But, tonight, Mr. Wasp caught me off guard. Look at him. So innocently perched upon a green leaf, pretending that he doesn't even have a stinger!  Well, we all know better than that don't we!  Let me take you back to 9:05 p.m.

It was a dark and stormy  night like any other night in our household. The children were being perfect little heathens angels and no one was begging relentlessly  asking politely for juice.  The television was blaring another Disney movie off and the children were all singing hymns and holding hands.  Laci and I had just finished cooking a lovely meal of Lasagna and fried okra.  Of course in a perfect world, when one cooks a meal, one usually has people that will consume it. Not so much tonight. The boys revolted.  I mean, really...how in the world can you pass up this?

So, Laci, polished off all three plates and we started to get ready for bed.  The light was off in the living room and the boys were glued watching television.  I sat down between them with toothbrushes in hand and began to brush their teeth.  Seth first. Then Leyton.  When I stood up to take the toothbrushes back to the bathroom, my wrist started burning like I was being cut with a hot knife  a little. 
 And then I saw him and his evil mocking face hobbling across the mound of clothes on the floor.  I think I might have even heard him laugh a little at my painful cries.  

So riddle me this Exhibit A, he who now resides in the trash can under the marinara bottle and poopy diapers, who is laughing now? Huh? Huh?  That's what I thought. Records may be made to be broken, but wasps that get angry soon meet their little wasp Maker!

So afterwards, my little stung wrist and I drowned our sorrows in a plate of Gluten Free chocolate chip cookies and the movie Confessions of a Shopoholic.  Chocolate makes everything better.

The End.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahaha u are so silly!! i think we should make some of that lasagna when i come there!!! it looks delicioso!!
-megan

Jessica Kirkland said...

haha. you've been watching too much Dora. LOL. Yes, it was pretty tasty for G-Free. Can you believe I got stung? Evil little wasp. I was having some major flashbacks to your pool and those blasted horseflies!!!!