Smells like Fall!

Pumkin Patch Kids

Punkin' Heads

Let's Get Moving!

Feel like you are on a weight loss merry-go-round?  Is your brain spinning out of control with negative thoughts about how you look?  Do you beat yourself up for those unwanted pounds?  If you are like me, you spend a lot of time thinking and little time actually focused on changing things.  I talk about change.  I really want change.  But, I get depressed by what I see...so I go have a snack.  Let's get off this merry-go-round together and achieve our goals.

No more laying around.  
It's time to get moving!  
Pull out your goal outfits (I have SEVERAL to choose from) and let's think like a star!  Notice I said star, not celebrity.  Let's be realistic here.  We are normal people.  I do not have people preparing meals for me.  I do not have time for 3 hour workouts each day.  But, I have 15 pounds to lose (atleast).  Sounds simple enough, right?
If it were that simple, I wouldn't be subjecting myself to the likes of the world wide web.  Trust me!  All you need is some dedication and a computer!  Blog-a-long or use your facebook.  
Here are the rules (by the way this is totally made up...so any ideas are welcome)!  

Start date:  Thursday, October 1st.

Weigh yourself first thing Thursday morning. 

Record your real weight for your own records.  

Send me a fake weight. Example:  If you weigh 150 and want to lose 30 pounds..you could tell me that you weigh 90 and need to be 60 lbs.  Get it?

*I am not interested in knowing anyone's personal weights.  What I DO want to know is your start "weight" and your goal.  We are about the goal not the lbs. 

Send me this information via e-mail to:  kirkland622@yahoo.com

If you have a picture of yourself you can send it as well.  I will be photographing myself for progress sake.  

Each day...it is your job to keep and publish a food journal.  Every meal, every snack...write it down and publish it publicly.  Count your calories if you can.  

Each Thursday I will publish everyone's name, start weight, goal weight, and weight loss for the week.  

*A note about cheating...of course...you could technically lie about the facts..but does that do anybody any good?  This weight loss game is designed to give us the accountability we need to stick to what we tell ourselves.  So, just to re-cap:

Name

Weight

Goal weight 

picture if you want it posted with your stats (this would be more fun if everyone could send one)

all sent to me @:  kirkland622@yahoo.com

Thanks,

Jessica

I have an announcement!

You are right, if it goes on a public website, then it's public knowledge.  I guess that's the point now isn't it?  No secrets for this one.  I am going public.  Don't tell anyone or rather tell everyone.  Wanna take a swing at it?

No more hiding...
Game face on...
Hopefully soon, you can celebrate with me because I....
...am ready to lose weight!  I am tired of lugging around my extra baby weight.   So, I thought you could come along for the ride.  See, I need accountability.  Nothing quiet about the general public along for the ride!  So, in order to make this work, I thought it best to go public with my announcement.  By, December I'll be wearing skinny jeans and I might even take a few pictures of myself to commemorate the achievement.  Anyone wanna join me?  More to come!

Swiper No Swiping!

Sometimes Robb and I wonder what goes on in the mind of this child?  What an angel sitting in a serene chapel in the hills of Arkansas.  We cannot read his mind, but he must have prayed to break free of the bondage of shyness.  Seth is out of his shell.  Silent Seth is out.  Speech Communication Seth is in.  

We knew he liked cars.  We know he likes speed.
We know he loves to golf like Tiger.
And we know that he is left-handed like his daddy (Robb says left-handed people don't just march to a different beat, he says they make their own..hehe).  

But, who could have ever guessed that Seth likes to talk? This transformation of self did not happen to me until junior high.  I was shy until 5th grade.  Fifth grade brought me out of my shell of silence.  Silent Seth has gone and Speech Communication Seth has arrived (I guess it's an honest acquisition since his mom, aunt, and uncle all have degrees in it from the same university)!

An ambulance zoomed passed us today...

Seth:  Heeyy!  Whats dat right there?

Me:  That's an ambulance.  They go help sick people.

Seth:  Yeah, dat ambuwance go and take those sick people to the doctor.

A U-HAUL van passes us a few minutes later...

Seth:  Heeey!  I see another ambulance right there on the rooaad (pronounced ra-ode).

Me:  No, baby that is a U-HAUL truck.  It moves people.

Seth:  Yeah, I see that UHAUL ambuwance going to move people.  

We pull up to the stop-light a few blocks from our house...

Seth:  Mommy, where did that finish line go?

Me:  What finish line?

Seth:  That car over there beside us is covering up my finish line.

We start to turn left onto our street...

Seth:  Ooohhhh wait!  I see my finish line.  It's right there.  Bye bye finish line.  

I guess when I brought Seth back Swiper the Fox from Las Vegas (that was his beanie baby souvenir from Dora the Explorer); I guess Swiper swiped his silence.  Sneaky little fox! Swiper no Swiping!

Reminders...

Yesterday, I was reminded.  I was reminded that life is a gift and time is precious.  I had been following a blog about a mother who was pregnant and fighting breast cancer.  I was reminded to let go of the little things that attempt to steal our joy.  I was reminded to stop and not forget all that God has saved me from.  I was reminded that no one is exempt from hardship.  Not even me.  Not even you.  This mother lost her life.  She will not have the joy of watching her little girl live.   The following post actually happened 3 1/2 years ago.  Yesterday, I was reminded of how I felt, of how life seemed on that night.  But, today, I am here.  Life is a gift and I am very grateful.

  

Waiting to exhale... 

Three strikes and it was out...again. "It" being the IV line the nurses kept trying to start in my arm - blowing the line every time. I was getting really agitated watching them fumble with something so simple, while I waited to breathe again. I just needed air and each time they failed to start my IV, I saw missed opportunities to save my life. I was afraid and frustrated. Finally, the line was in and I was wheeled down the hall to wait. Another bag of lasics, like before, was hooked up and began flowing through my body. It was an eerily familiar scene - Robb, me, and my mom waiting, watching, and praying for another miracle. It seemed that we had just watched this episode, five weeks earlier, when I had almost delivered the babies at 26 weeks gestation. That experience, marked forever in my heart, was triumphantly answered with God's divine interevention (my healing and my labor stopping for a full five weeks - no medicine - just miracle). 

This time was different for me. When things are ALMOST taken from you, you always harbor that fear that one day you really will lose out. I was there. I had been sick. Made whole. I had been in labor. Then not. I had the potential to give birth to very sick or impaired babies. They were healthy. I was high risk. But, had delivered with minimal complications (up to that point). Now, my body was failing again along with my hope. A few days earlier, I had been confident that the worst was behind me. A few days earlier, I had spoken my promises of health, long life, and protection with boldness. On that day, I was feeble and clinging to those words - wondering where that strong girl with boldness had gone. Add a failing body to that equation and you had me = a mess. I was a mess. 

That day marked the beginning of a very long week for me. A week that I would spend wrestling, like never before, with God - His goodness, His faithfulness, His choice to save or not to save, His provision, His sovereignty. I would spend that week waiting for God to show up, praying that He would come through for me, and waiting to exhale (literally). My faith was waivering amidst the flames of refinement. I wanted the happy ending. I wanted the miracle again, but the realist in me hurled the "what if" scenarios at my faith. "What if" God chose not to heal? "What if" God chose not to save this time? "What if" my purpose was to simply give birth to those babies, not raise them as my own? "What if" His good plans to prosper me meant that I would go home to be with Him? 

Me + my feeble faith + hardship = a mess.

One of a Kind...Leyton

Amendment: Days of our Lives

This is worth noting.  I feel that it is necessary to amend or rather add to my days of our lives post.  A literal 5 minutes after posting....

Enter stage right.  Turkey Kirkland.  Turkey was shaking and releasing a familiar scent:  the scent of poop.    Walking like a zombie up to me, and my white, MAC computer.  The MAC began to quiver as it sensed the approach of impending danger.  Toddler fingers approaching at a rapid speed covered in toddler poo.  Yes, people, hold your stomachs; this is a poop post.  

Turkey Kirkland had been reluctant to surrender to sleep.  He had been sent to bed at least a half hour earlier.  After sending Turkey and his cohorts to bed, we had seen him already a handful of times.  Excuse after excuse he gave for his "need" to be out of bed.  All to no avail.  I guess he decided to show us.  

"Seth, why do you have poop on your hands?"

"I got poop on my hands and my toe (holding up a foot covered in it as well)."

"Where did the poop come from?"

"It came from playroom."

I checked his diaper.  Clean?

Robb checked Leyton. Clean?

"Leyton, where did that poop come from?"

"Ummma...Seth gots it on his hands and his toe."

"We know, but where did it come from?"  

"Ummma...by the chair."

I checked the chairs.  No evidence.

I checked the train table.  No evidence.

"Seth, did you take your diaper off and poop on the floor?"

"Uhhh...no I got poop from the playroom."  

"We are aware...where in the playroom."  

He points to a juice stain on the carpet. 

"Look here's poo-poo right here."

Mystery lives on. And thus, these are the days of our lives.

Days of our Lives

Laci asked me if she could "watch me cook" tonight.  So, we talked about our yummy gluten free meal.  Lemon butter fish, almond green beans, and No wheat mac-n-cheese.  We could see the TV which was turned to Dancing with the Stars.  

Laci:  Look, they dancin' like I dance!

Me:  Yeah, look they are really good like you too!

Laci:  Yeah, I think  I need Seth to dance with me.  He need to hold my hands and do this to me (bending over in her best unassisted dip).  He need to dip me like this!

These are the days of our lives!

We have a new child.  His name is Turkey Kirkland.  He used to be called Seth, but now he is lovingly referred to as Turkey.  He, as we speak, he is trying to push the "butt" on my computer.  Telephone buttons = butts.  Computer keys = butts.  Microwave buttons = butts as well.  Everything that he can click, push, or press is considered a "butt."  He's managed to turn the word "butt" into a two syllable word too.  The Turkey likes to say it "Bu-uht."  

These are the days of our lives!

Leyton, while crying right before bedtime, "Mommy can you please come cover me up, tuck me, in and give me hugs."  When, he said he needed to go "potty" conveniently around the time he and Seth were in trouble for running.  Robb asked, "Do you really need to potty or are you lying?"  Leyton:  "I'm lying."  Or earlier when Laci came in with a red mark on her face claiming that Leyton hit her with an airplane.  Leyton, did you hit Laci with your airplane?  No. Don't lie to me, you better tell the truth.  Did you hit her?  No I didn't.  Okay sorry.

These are the days of our lives!  And what boring days they would be without them!

One of a Kind...Seth

One of a Kind

Once upon a time according to....

Leyton:  (Bringing me an etch-a-sketch with a straight line on it)..."Look! It's a princess in the castle!" 

Me:  "Wow!  What an artist you are! Good job."

Leyton:  (Drawing another straight line beside the first).."Yeah, princess lives in the castle and she's scared."

Me:  "Oh, no, why is she scared?"

Leyton:  (Drawing a circle beside her).  "She needs juice!"

Typical.  Leyton is obsessed with juice.  It doesn't matter if he just downed 3 glasses.  Leyton "needs juice."  Hurt feelings.  "I need juice."   Hurt finger.  "I need juice."  Boredom.  "I need juice."  As I am typing this (seriously)..."I need some juice!"  Seriously...he just had some (I promise)!

Once upon a time....

Me:  "Laci, look  I got you a new shirt!"

Laci:  "It's got words on it!"  

Me:  "Yeah, it says "Once upon a time...!"

Laci:  "Ohhhh...once upon a time, there was a little girl named Laci who lived in a castle and sang "Somewhere Out There!"

Typical.  Laci is obsessed with the song "Somewhere Out There"  from the movie "American Tail."  Laci can you sing us a song...(sings)...somewhere out there..neath the pale (pitch that only dogs can hear) moon-light.  Someone's ta-tinking of me and woving me tonight!"  

Me: Laci, can you sing another song? 

Laci: No, I sing Somewhere Out There!

Me: Laci, sing Twinkle, Twinkle.  

Laci: No, you not gonna make me sing Twinkle Twinkle!

Me: Please, teach us another song!

Laci:  (Crossing arms over body)..."Hmmph...no I sing Somewhere Out There (sings loudly and VERY off-key)...SOMEWHERE OUT THERE..."

Once upon a time....

Frankly, Scarlett Seth doesn't care to tell "once upon a time" stories.  He's too cool for school.  

Me:  Seth, do you have a once upon a time story?

Seth:  (Eyebrows raised in disgust)....an adamant "NO!" from him.

Typical.  The only thing Seth feels strongly about is "going fast" and getting his back rubbed.  Matter of fact, when I returned from my trip to Las Vegas yesterday, the following occurred.

Seth: (Clapping and jumping up and down when he saw me)...."Mommy's home! Mommy's home!"

Me:  Seth, I missed you sooo much. I brought you a surprise back with me!

Seth:  Yeah! (climbs into my lap).  "You wanna rub my back?"

Me:  (Starting to rub my fingers through his wild, just woke-up hair).

Seth:  "Hey! You not gonna rub my head!  You gonna rub my back (while looking at me very sternly).

Me:  (laughing) Oh I'm not, well I thought I could rub your head?  

Seth:  NO NO NO!  You NOT gonna rub my head, you gonna rub my back!"

Seth:  (grabs my hand and puts it on his back).

Once upon a time, there were three triplets with VERY different personalities!

The Gardener

Gardening meant a lot to my Pappaw who passed away last August.  He spent many hours preparing, tending, and harvesting his garden.  It was often the highlight of my grandparents day.  "What did we get from the garden, today?"  The satisfaction of growing and harvesting your own food is something that my generation has not experienced.  We go to the grocery store and the hard work of people like my grandfather is already beautifully displayed in neat rows of color and size.
Things have changed at my grandparent's house.  My grandmother, Maxine, has adjusted the best that she knows how to life without him.  Last time we visited, the weather was a usual Texas 100 degrees.  Scorching, dry heat beat down on my grandfather's only producing tree.  His pear tree.
The garden boxes he had built were dry and overgrown with weeds.  Their gardener had passed away.  One lone pear tree attempted to defy its' predestined path.  Sagging branches, heavy with green pears - not yet ripe.  Leave the pears and the birds will take them.  Leave the pears and the heat will take them.  So, for one last time, we stood in for the Real gardener.  We stood in his place in the year of his death and we freed the sagging branches of their burden.  I was glad my children could do this with me.  They will not know their great-grandfather as I knew him.  As we picked pears from his tree, they did not understand that this was his last crop.  The last producing crop in the year of his death.
Will the pear tree produce next year?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Things change.  Life changes.  Without my Pappaw, life feels a bit out of sync.  We shared many family meals and memories enjoying the fruits of his labor.  And no matter what his Earthly garden looks like, I know that his Heavenly reward is perfect.   Row after row of trees that do not taste the fierceness of the elements or even death.  It is here that "our Gardener" has found rest with the One who indeed created the very first Garden to give to man.  It is there where I see him busy at work serving a good God who allowed him to continue honing his gardening skills. We ALL will reap what we sow.  We ALL will taste the fruits of our labor.  Though his Earthly garden has been silenced by the sting of death, he lives with the Father.  And I know his soul is satisfied.
"..On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month.  And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.  No longer will there be any curse...  "  Revelation 22:2-3

What happens in PRESCHOOL stays in PRESCHOOL

Even though, what happens in preschool stays in preschool, I was able to glean a little information from my children after their first day of school.
Laci left me with a smile and greeted me the same.  She said that she had a fun time "making friends."  Then, she leaned in and whispered "I played with Horsies the WHOLE time!"  I think she thought she had gotten away with something there.  She also let me know that a "other girl cried a lot."  But, she made sure I understood that she didn't cry, just a "other girl."
Leyton was quite concerned this morning while we were getting ready to leave.  Phrases like "today you're gonna leave me" and "you gonna pick me up, right?"  were common.  When we arrived, I saw a melt-down coming, but excused myself quickly at the drop off (I didn't want to witness it and knew that would only prolong things if I stuck around to console him).  When I came back to pick him up, he was fine.  The teacher said he cried for a little while, but was fine.  His take on the first day of school was "people make messes."  I asked him if HE made a mess too, "no I just played."
Seth wasted no time and no kisses rushing to meet his "new friends."  He was VERY excited to leave I noticed when I arrived to pick them back up.  Chanted "Time to go home! Time to go home!"  Sorry Seth, you've got many long years to experience that thing we all call "school."  I did ask him if he made some new friends.  He answered me briefly with a "yeah a teacher named Candace."  Oh I see.
I guess they will spare me the other details.  After all, what happens in preschool stays in preschool.  I better get use to that!