Feel free to enjoy the following post. Feel free to laugh at my incapacity to tolerate winged creatures of any kind. Feel free to envision me as I ran like a wild woman through the trees down a narrow, dirt road screaming for my life. Feel free to feel my terror and laugh at the mental image of my wild, arm-flailing, flashlight wielding self running as fast as I could from them. So, with no further delay, enjoy...
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Robb and I are on a diet. Actually, you could simply call it a lifestyle change. Since I am now a gluten free gal, our cabinets (for the most part) are also gluten free cabinets. I am considerate to leave a stash of "good stuff" like macaroni, goldfish, and cereals for the babies and Robb. In our efforts to actually lose some pounds, we have been running and working out. Also, in the mail as we speak, is proof that Infomercials do indeed work. Infomercials DO have the capacity to persuade those who choose to pause long enough to get sucked into their pitch (exhibit A - Robb Kirkland). Up for some late night snacking one night, Robb found himself mad that he, again, was up doing some late night snacking. Therefore, his anger led him to watch an exercise infomercial - P90X. Angry at himself for yet another night of indulgent behavior, P90X was purchased and is finding its' way, one UPS truck at a time, to our home.
In the meantime, we went to the lake this weekend for the 4th of July. Robb and I promised each other that we would not fall into the "it's a holiday" excuse for overindulging and not exercising. Therefore, we went on a pre-dusk stroll around the lake. I took a rather large mag-lite so we could see our path and not step on a snake (as they are plentiful around our lake neighborhood). The sun was setting and the air smelled of fireworks (aka smoke). We were enjoying some quality, alone time, and much needed sweating. Up one hill, down another, along the lake we strolled, through a narrow path of hovering trees, and "Holy crap batman- a bat dove right in front of us!"
We walked a little faster...
I don't tolerate winged creatures of any kind too well. Wasps, bees, flying roaches, wasps, hornets, bees, flying roaches. Oh my - they make me all cringe. Oh, and how could I forget, horsefly's.
If you have ever been walking with me in the evenings- you don't need to imagine. You have seen first hand, the crazy, circle turning, screaming, flailing, jerking that occurs when ANY such creature comes near me. So, again, enjoy.
Robb and I cleared the tree area and kept walking into the open pathway around the lake. It was nearly dark. The trusty mag-lite had already come out and was lighting our path. When all of a sudden, we realized the bats had found us. One swooped to our left, and another dove to my right. Without any conversation, we both turned around and started back where we came from (quickly). Then, there were 8! Not caring that I have actually had a rabies vaccine (another long story), I began to scream and run as fast as I could (sorry Robb - better catch me)!
Robb, half laughing, and half scared himself was now running along with me. The bats (nine of them now) were having a great time (swooping, diving, and investigating us). I was screaming, running, waiving my mag-lite over my head and doing all of this hunched over as low to the ground as I could get and still run. Robb was scared, but laughing so hard, he was getting weak.
Keep in mind that this was 4th of July and there were plenty of people out and about to observe my small frantic breakdown. Golf carts of people rode by as I was running and darting down the path covered with trees. I'm sure they just thought they were observing a couple who had "had a few" on 4th of July! In reality, they were observing a petrified woman who goes nuts around winged creatures in general (especially the swooping, diving, come out at dark kind)!
It was certainly a walk to remember!
Posted by Jessica Kirkland at 7:49 PM