Sunday, May 3, 2009

Rails

For her, it's about rails. Every move she makes depends on the presence or absence of them. If there are steps, she needs a rail to help her get up them. If there are steps and no rails, she stays home. My grandmother's every move centers around steps and rails or the lack of them because she has back problems. Rails occupy most of her thoughts because steps occupy most places she needs to go. If it wasn't for steps, maybe she wouldn't have to think about rails so much. If it wasn't for her back problems, she probably wouldn't think of rails, steps, or the fact that her back hurts daily.

Since I had the babies, "bathrooms" have occupied most of my thinking. If I didn't have severe GI issues, then bathrooms probably wouldn't have consumed most of my thinking for the past 3 years. I can tell you where most decent bathrooms are from here to San Antonio. Buckees has the nicest restrooms around really. :) I prefer fast-food bathrooms to be sick in over gas stations (for sanitary purposes as you can probably imagine). But, of course, bookstores like Barnes & Noble are best for days of repeated sickness. Read a magazine, go be sick, read a book, go be sick again. Thank you B & N!

Post hysterectomy, I do not have to think about bathrooms quite as much. Post hysterectomy I can think about more normal things like birthday parties and trips to Wal-mart, swine flu , ya know...normal things. Some days it is really difficult for me to think like a "healed person". But, I know the work has been done. My healing is here. And although I am not a "name it - claim it" believer, I do believe that the healing work in my life is complete from God's perspective. Sometimes it takes awhile to see things come to fruition on Earth, but that doesn't mean God changed His mind. Even today, when my test results said I have a "complex cyst" in my kidney and need to have it checked. Even after that report, I am healed because God told me so. I am not going to pretend that those results didn't make me concerned - they did. But, what better way to vent my fear then blogging, right? So, if you would please send up a prayer tonight for me and my kidney, we would both appreciate it. Because, honestly, I do not want to think about bathrooms or cysts tonight.

Jess

1 comments:

gami chess said...

I pray for all of you every night and thank God for your family