Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Nope, Not me!

To be counted on is both the highest privilege and the greatest responsibility. Someone told me recently that they were "counting on me." How that comment caught me off-guard. Counting on me? Counting on ME? Oh the pressure! Do I feel worthy to be counted on? Absolutely not! If this were a "not me Monday" (thank you Mckmama), then I would have to say that I cannot be counted on because:

I did not make a promise not to tell a secret and then break it, no not me!
I did not berate a friend to another friend because the first friend hurt my feelings, not me!
I did not hush my children's sweet talk tonight because I wanted to hear Simon's critique's on American Idol tonight, no not me!

Fine, you caught me, I am NOT worthy in any way to be counted on (as you already know). But, I do hope that maybe learning from my "not me's" you can be helped in any way you need.

Specifically, this dear friend and I were talking about depression (if you have followed me from the beginning you will remember that birth control + me = me in a crying puddle on the floor). If you've never experienced depression, I don't expect you to understand. For the other millions of you that have, sometimes realizing you are not alone is a big step in healing your mind. And in the spirit of a "not me" Monday on a Tuesday I am not going to tell you that:

Jesus can be counted on. I also won't tell you that if you are suffering from depression today He can heal you in an instance. I also won't tell you that He has freed me several times. It wasn't one time when I was on a walk and He told me to praise him and instantly I was free, it also wasn't one time by rebuking a spirit of confusion and I was instantly free, and it also wasn't by throwing my birth control in the trash. Nope, not me! I won't waste my breath to say that I know a friend that sticks closer than a brother, that answers my prayers sometimes before I even have the words formed with my mouth, or that I have come to know as my Healer, my Deliver, and my Friend.

Nope, I won't tell you any of that...

Jessica

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