Friday, March 6, 2009

Breath and Life to All Things

So it was time to make the trade. The nurse switched off the Mag-Sulfate drip and inserted the terbutaline pump back into my leg. We chatted for a minute about my journey up to that point and she gave me my instructions for discharge (if I were to get to go home). As we wrapped up our conversation, I noticed that my body was changing colors. From my knees down, it looked like I had been dipped in hot wax - I was beaming with what appeared to be an instant burn. My thighs were still pasty white (as usual). My stomach (large and in charge) was also beaming red, as was my face and part of my arms (also from the elbow down). Was this related to my terbutaline pump? The nurse wasn't sure. I started to feel really cold and weak. But, my skin was on fire! And I was alone. My mom happened to be on her way, but wouldn't be there for a few more hours. And I still couldn't breathe. Concerned about the combination of the two symptoms, I told this new nurse about my unrestful night. She hurredly proceeded to page my nurse and doctor. I was having an allergic reaction to the Mag-Sulfate.

They rushed some benadryl to my room and told me if I felt like my throat was closing up to page them. GREAT! As you can probably imagine, I felt like my throat was closing up already. Panic was setting in. And heaviness. I know that heaviness all too well. Trust. I have to trust God. So, I said my scripture over and over again.

"You give breath and life to all things." Acts 17:25
"You give breath and life to all things." Acts 17:25
"Lord you promised to give breath and life to all things."
"Please. Please. Please give breath and life to me."
"I need you Great Physician."
"Breathe. Believe. Breathe."

And I waited for intervention. For the ability to take a deep breath. For divine healing. I couldn't see what was going on inside of my body, but God could. And for the first time in my life, I felt totally helpless. And it was only the beginning of what would become the longest day of my life.