Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Why does everyone look so scared?

It was true. The nurses that so lovingly attended to all my needs looked uneasy. Their words were comforting, but their faces told a different story. This was what one might call protocol. It wasn't their fault, they had been trained. Trained to smile, even if they wanted to cry for those in their care. Trained to speak with confidence, even when the future seemed uncertain. While I was thinking about the fingertips of God forming my children week by week, they knew that the road ahead would be difficult. I am glad that I did not know what they knew. I am thankful that I did not feel the need to do much research. I had two books: one that told me about the week by week development of those housed inside my body, and one that told me what would happen to me. I preferred the first book. For me, God's creation is one of the most magnificent clues to God's existence and love. We live on a planet that hangs in space. Any closer to the sun and we would burn up. Any further and the freezing temperatures would not allow life to exist. God could have kept this all to Himself, but instead He decided to allow us to participate. Oh wait, He had to make us first! He made us in His image, He blessed us, and then gave us all He had created (Genesis 1:27-31). So, despite the trepidation on the faces around me, I chose to believe in God as my Creator. I focused on what He was doing within me; creating several somethings out of nothing. He was an old pro at this and I had to focus my wandering thoughts again on His promises to keep me safe.

3 comments:

Jan said...

The Trips are going to love hearing this story one day. What a testimony to how God loves and cares for us. I'm hooked!

Jessica Kirkland said...

Actually they'll probably roll their pre-teen eyes and tell me not to go into what Oprah likes to call the "ugly cry." Thanks for reading aunty!

Candie said...

Good grief! I was having a hard time responding back to you. I couldn't get through some "subscriber" thing....anyway...
It's me again!
Correct me if I"m wrong, but I think I've gotten in on the beginning of a great story! Did you just start blogging and now your recapping on your amazing pregnancy? I'm loving it and think it's so funny that I found you through my dad's blog. Mind if I add you to my blog roll?
Yes, we started on the gonal-f in Oct. Waiting till summer to do it again. Back on clomid until then. And yes, clomid, estrogen, and projest. are a vicious three on the emotions!!! :0 Hope to hear back from you again soon. I check Twinkle Twinkle most often.