Sunday, January 25, 2009

Into the Light

When I was a student at Baylor, I had a wonderful Christian boss that I worked for in the Marketing Department. We shared a special bond that I still hold dear to me today. We talked about our faith, our struggles, the future, and the mail (this was one of my TOP priorities as her student worker). She had shared with me her struggle with depression at different times in her life. Specifically, she had shared that at one point in time she felt so horrible that she told her husband to go ahead and drive her to the mental hospital. After a lot of prayer and some examination, the culprit behind her depression was discovered to be her birth control pills. When she discontinued their use, her depression lifted and she was normal again. Several times over the course of the year, my friends story crossed my mind. I would contemplate the possibility, but would dismiss it and trudge on.

One day, in late May I was having severe anxiety that would not stop. I was so very tired, but I could not stop thinking of the testimony that was shared with me. I went to my bathroom and flipped over my birth control pills: WARNING: can cause severe mental depression. I wondered what the odds were that this problem could be as simple as tossing those stupid pills in the trash. I thought of the millions of women around the world that take them every day with no problems. But, I remembered the one that could not. So, I threw them in the trash and made an appointment with my doctor. Two days later- the fog was gone. The darkness was replaced with light and an old friend began to surface- ME! I explained to my doctor what I had been going through and he lightheartedly said, 'Oh yeah, I get this complaint all the time!'

When my friend had shared her story with me two years earlier, I had never felt the sting of depression. But thanks to her willingness to talk about her struggles - she literally gave me my life back. I am so grateful that she was not too ashamed to share those stories with me. God did answer my prayers. He did not leave me. He carried me and used the story of a fellow sister in Christ to help lead me out of the darkness and into the light.


Jan said...

Praise God for using you and your transparency to share with others. Faith is not faith until it is tested.

Frank and Sara said...

No way! Jessica, I really enjoy the way you write. I did not see that coming. No way. Not meaning to be trite, but it gives new meaning to "in the details."

I've got some practical and theological questions I'd like to pose, but I'll read a little while first.

And I agree with Jan, I'm so glad that your bosses transparency brought you to this, and I pray that the description of what happened to you will quickly find it's way to someone else that's trapped.

Jessica Kirkland said...

Thanks for reading, I'm glad you are enjoying all the 'details.' Pose away, I hope I can answer them! Since, I have found numerous women who have had similar stories to mine, but I am sure there are women out there right now that have no idea those little pills are the cause of all their trouble.