Saturday, January 24, 2009

In The Night

It had been 9 months. I was barely making it to the mere 6 hours of college courses that I was registered for. And I was crying...ALOT! I cried when people won on Wheel of Fortune, I cried when a new baby was born on TLC, I cried alone, and I cried to Robb. Yes, I would like to now give a shout-out to my dear husband who also had no idea what was going on. Since he worked long hours, he was only around to witness pieces of my unraveling. He was distraught as well, but had no idea how to help me. Together, our fears about my situation made most of our time together highly combustible. Men are fixers. They fix things. I was like Humpty Dumpty and no one could figure out how to put me back together again, not even a well-meaning husband. I was a mess and my chest was beginning to hurt. Physically, hurt. That night, a heavy pressure settled over the top of me like a blanket. With that heaviness, came one of the worst nightmares I have ever had. These two new friends decided to stick around for the next 3 months. The blanket got heavier and the nightmares got worse. And I cried some more...